bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever notice how life sometimes feels like a game of dodgeball? I mean, I'm just trying to navigate through my day, and it's like the universe is throwing curveballs at me. Dodging responsibilities, dodging awkward conversations—I've basically turned into a professional dodger. I'm so good at dodging, I should be in the Olympics. Imagine the dodging finals—there I am, gracefully sidestepping commitments and gracefully avoiding eye contact. Gold medal in the art of evasion!
But seriously, dodging is a skill. I can dodge a phone call like Neo dodging bullets in "The Matrix." And when someone asks, "Have you been to the gym lately?" Oh, I'm doing a full-on dodge and weave routine. Dodging guilt, dodging shame, and definitely dodging the treadmill.
Life's a dodgeball game, and I'm the MVP. Dodging feelings, dodging calories, and most importantly, dodging those people handing out flyers on the street. Sorry, I've got a strict "no pamphlet" policy.
0
0
Relationships are like a game of chess, and I've become a grandmaster at dodging arguments. You know it's serious when your partner gives you that look like they've got their queen lined up for a checkmate. I've developed advanced techniques, like the preemptive apology. Before they even say anything, I'm already apologizing for whatever I may or may not have done. It's like emotional chess—sacrificing my pride to protect the king (or queen, in this case).
And then there's the classic distraction move. They start talking about something serious, and I'm like, "Hey, is that a squirrel outside?" Dodging emotional landmines with a well-timed distraction. Works every time.
But the real challenge is when they catch you off guard. You think you're just having a casual conversation, and suddenly, it's like they've pulled out the chessboard, and you're in the middle of a strategic battle. Dodging arguments is a full-time job, and I've got job security.
0
0
I recently tried this new diet where you're supposed to dodge carbs like they're the plague. It's like playing nutritional dodgeball. Bread? Dodged. Pasta? Dodged. Rice? Dodged so hard, it's still orbiting somewhere in the carb galaxy. But here's the thing—my willpower is like a seasoned dodgeball player. It starts strong, but as the game goes on, it gets tired, and suddenly I'm face-first into a plate of spaghetti. It's a carb ambush, and I'm the unsuspecting victim.
I've realized that dieting is just a sophisticated form of dodging. Dodging the temptation to order that extra-large pizza, dodging the dessert menu like it's a forbidden scroll. It's a constant battle between my desire for carbs and my desire for, well, not looking like I've eaten a whole bakery.
So, here I am, dodging carbs and hoping that one day, my metabolism will join the dodgeball game and start dodging calories like a pro.
0
0
Small talk is the ultimate dodgeball of social interactions. You walk into a room, and suddenly you're dodging questions like, "How's the weather?" and "What do you do for a living?" It's a conversational minefield, and I'm tiptoeing through it like a ninja. I've mastered the art of dodging personal questions with vague answers. "What do I do for a living? Oh, you know, I dabble in the mystical arts of adulting." Dodged.
And then there's the classic fake phone call move. Pretend your phone is ringing, excuse yourself, and bam, you're out of the small talk game. It's like a Houdini-level escape, except instead of chains, it's the chains of polite conversation.
But my favorite dodge is the accidental spill. You spill your drink, create a distraction, and suddenly you're free from the small talk shackles. It's the perfect crime.
So, next time you see me at a party, and I spill my drink for the third time, just know—it's not clumsiness; it's my masterful dodge technique at work. Dodging small talk like a social ninja.
Post a Comment