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Joke Types
The Reluctant Socializer
Feeling overwhelmed by constant messages
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I avoid opening my DMs like it's a new horror movie. You never know if it's going to be a jump scare from an old acquaintance or a request to join someone's pyramid scheme. I prefer suspense in the cinema, not my inbox.
The Paranoid Privacy Enthusiast
Fear of personal information being exposed
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I'm so paranoid about DMs, I treat each message like a potential plot twist in a thriller movie. 'Will this be the message that reveals my greatest fear—the world discovering I secretly love pineapple on pizza?'
The Social Media Star
Balancing authenticity with sponsored content
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My DMs are like a museum of desperation. There's a special exhibit called 'Discount Codes and Offers I'll Never Use.' I should charge an entrance fee for advertisers.
The Overzealous Networker
Finding a balance between networking and pestering
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I DM people like it's a game of digital tag. I tag you, you ignore me, then I tag someone else. It's the only game where everyone loses.
The Clueless Parent
Understanding emojis and internet slang
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My teenager sends me messages with more abbreviations than a legal document. I reply with the enthusiasm of a middle-aged detective solving a cryptic case. 'BRB', 'TTYL', 'IDK'—I'm pretty sure they're slowly teaching me a new language.
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