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I was watching a Disney princess movie, and it hit me – these princesses have talking mirrors. Meanwhile, my mirror just gives me a reality check every morning. "Good morning, here are your under-eye bags and a new pimple to deal with. Have a magical day!
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You know, I was watching a Disney princess movie the other day, and I couldn't help but notice that these princesses always have perfect hair, even after battling dragons and evil witches. Meanwhile, I struggle to keep my hair in check after a five-minute walk on a slightly windy day. What kind of magical hairspray are they using in the enchanted kingdom?
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Have you ever noticed that Disney princesses always have these impossibly small waists? I mean, I can't even get into my jeans after a big meal, and these princesses are out there defeating villains without breaking a sweat. Maybe the real secret to saving the kingdom is a good corset.
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I envy Disney princesses' ability to break into song at any moment. If I tried that in my everyday life, people would probably just assume I'm having a mental breakdown. "Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?" breaks into a full musical number Yeah, that would go over well.
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Ever notice that Disney princesses never have to deal with mundane problems like grocery shopping or doing laundry? I bet Cinderella's fairy godmother conveniently left out the part about weekly chores. "Bippity boppity, your laundry is magically done!" Now that's a spell I'd pay for.
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Ever notice how Disney princesses always have these talking animal sidekicks? I can't even get my dog to sit on command, let alone give me life advice. I'm over here, waiting for my coffee to brew, and all I get is a judgmental stare. Where's my motivational squirrel when I need one?
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Disney princesses seem to have an innate ability to communicate with birds. I can barely get my cat to acknowledge my existence. Maybe I need to start tweeting more to get on their level. "Hey, Bluebird, did you see my latest tweet? I thought it was pretty chirp-worthy.
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Disney princesses always have these magical transformations, turning rags into ball gowns and all that. Meanwhile, I struggle to transform my bedhead into something presentable. Maybe if I sing "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" every morning, my hair will get the hint.
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You ever notice that Disney princesses always find their true love in the most unexpected places? Meanwhile, I can't even find my keys in my own purse. Maybe if I sang a song about it, my keys would magically appear. "Oh, where, oh where, have my car keys gone?
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I was thinking about Disney princesses and their fancy ball gowns. They never have to worry about stepping on their own dresses or tripping over them. Meanwhile, I struggle not to trip over my own feet when I'm wearing high heels. Maybe I should hire one of those woodland creatures to be my personal dress assistant.
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