17 Jokes For Did I Ever Tell You About The Time

Puns

Updated on: Aug 11 2025

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Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to catch fog? I mist.
Did I ever tell you about the time I invented a new word? Plagiarism.
Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally sent a funny pun to a poet? They replied with verse luck next time.
Did I ever tell you about the time I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Good thing it was a soft drink.
Did I ever tell you about the time I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger? Then it hit me.
Did I ever tell you about the time I fell asleep in the library? I was shelved for the night.
Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to write a joke about a pencil? It's pointless.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I decided to take up gardening to connect with nature? Turns out, nature has a way of retaliating. The plants in my garden formed a union and went on strike. I guess I have a black thumb, not a green one.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I decided to go on a health kick and eat only organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, kale-infused air? Yeah, turns out air has calories when it's labeled artisanal oxygen. My body's still holding a grudge against me for that one.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

You know, whenever someone starts a sentence with that line, I'm like, Oh great, here comes a story longer than the line at the DMV. Buckle up, we're about to embark on a journey to a time when the Wi-Fi was weak, and so were the punchlines.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to impress my in-laws with my DIY skills? Let's just say my attempt at fixing the leaky faucet turned into a full-scale bathroom renovation. Apparently, water damage is the new chic, according to my confused interior design sense.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to teach my dog a new trick? Yeah, turns out he's not much of a scholar. The only trick he mastered was convincing me that he understood what I was saying. Now he just looks at me like, You thought I'd do what now?

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I joined a cooking class to impress my friends? Let's just say my signature dish became smoke alarm lasagna. You know it's a success when the fire department shows up for dinner.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to impress my date by taking her to a fancy restaurant, but the only thing impressive was the bill? I had to take out a second mortgage just to cover the cost of the appetizers. I wanted to impress her, not financially ruin her.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Oh, did I ever tell you about the time I tried to assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions? Yeah, apparently my idea of a bookshelf looks more like modern art. It's so avant-garde; even the furniture is confused about its own purpose.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I decided to become a morning person? Yeah, that lasted until about noon. I realized I'm more of a midnight-snack-and-chill kind of person. Mornings are reserved for people who enjoy making questionable life choices.

Did I ever tell you about the time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to parallel park in a city? It's like playing a real-life game of Tetris, but with honking and passive-aggressive gestures. I thought I was good at Tetris until my car ended up in a position that violated several traffic laws.

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