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Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to impress my date by cooking a fancy recipe I found online? Let's just say, my kitchen looked like a crime scene, and the only thing missing was a culinary detective.
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Did I ever tell you about the time when I thought I had a brilliant idea in the shower, only to realize it was just a watered-down version of something I saw on a motivational poster? Apparently, my subconscious is the recycling bin of creativity.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to organize my closet using the KonMari method? Now, my clothes are sitting in a pile, questioning their life choices, and I'm wondering if joy sparks joy because I could use some right about now.
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Did I ever tell you about the time when I tried to multitask by listening to a podcast while folding laundry? Let's just say, my clothes have never been more confused about their own storyline.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to act cool at a party by quoting a famous philosopher, but everyone thought I was just mispronouncing their name? Socrates, Socratease, same difference, right?
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Did I ever tell you about the time I decided to take up meditation to achieve inner peace, but all I achieved was the ability to sit still and think about how hungry I am? Apparently, my inner peace is on a diet.
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Did I ever tell you about the time when I tried to impress someone by doing a magic trick, and the only thing disappearing was my dignity? Turns out, not everyone is as amazed by my ability to lose a card in my own sleeve.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I got lost in a mall and asked for directions from a mannequin? In my defense, they had this confident pose that made me believe they knew where they were going.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally sent a text to the wrong person and then had to pretend it was a secret code only the chosen few could decipher? Yeah, turns out my secret code was just a grocery list.
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