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Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to make a belt out of watches? It was a waist of time.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I bought shoes from a drug dealer? I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I bought a ceiling fan? Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying 'Ooh, I love how smooth it is.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I became a vegetarian? Turns out, I missed steak too much.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I bought a boat with a hole in it? I couldn't believe it when they said it was water-resistant.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally swallowed food coloring? I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
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