10 Jokes About Dems Russia Collusion Not Working

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jul 10 2025

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You know, I thought collusion was when your socks secretly conspire against you to disappear in the laundry. Democrats and Russia colluding? My laundry has more coordination than that.
If Democrats and Russia are trying to collude, I hope they at least have a shared calendar. "Meeting with Putin - 3 PM, followed by 'Conspiracy and Chill' - 4 PM." It's all about that political work-life balance.
If Democrats and Russia are colluding, I hope they have a better code name than my Wi-Fi password. "Operation SiberianSnowflake123" just doesn't strike fear into the hearts of the enemy.
Democrats and Russia colluding – sounds like a plot twist in a sitcom. "Coming this fall: 'Spy vs. Spy vs. Political Dysfunction.' Spoiler alert: Nobody wins, and everyone just ends up arguing over who ate the last slice of pizza.
I tried colluding with my diet once, but the chocolate cake had a stronger influence on me. If only I had the dedication of politicians trying to coordinate with foreign powers. "Day 1: Collusion, Day 2: Cheat day.
I tried colluding with my alarm clock for a later wake-up time, but it seems even inanimate objects won't compromise with me. Maybe politicians should learn a thing or two about negotiation from my persistent snooze button.
Democrats and Russia colluding – it's like watching a spy thriller, only with more bureaucratic paperwork. "Mission Impossible: Filling Out the Correct Forms." I bet even James Bond would need a coffee break midway through this political espionage paperwork.
I tried colluding with my GPS once, and it got me lost in my own neighborhood. If Democrats can't even coordinate with Russia, maybe they should start with Google Maps. "Take a left at the misinformation, then a right at the scandal.
Democrats and Russia colluding – it's like trying to mix oil and water. I can't even get my salad dressing to stay together, and they're attempting international collaborations. Maybe they should hire my grandma; she can make anything stick.
You know it's getting serious when politicians are trying to collude with Russia, and my biggest collusion is with the snooze button every morning. I mean, at least they're not hitting me up for international affairs at 6 AM.

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