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You ever notice how we treat dead pets differently than other things? Like, if you find a dead bug in your house, you're like, "Ew, gross!" But if you find a dead pet, you're suddenly planning a funeral. It's like, "Okay, Mr. Whiskers, we're going to need a small casket and some tiny pallbearers. Let's make this a proper send-off." I think there should be a guidebook for pet afterlife etiquette. Like, what's the appropriate mourning period for a goldfish versus a hamster? And do you get sympathy cards for hermit crabs? "Sorry for your loss. May he find a bigger shell in the great ocean in the sky.
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So, I find this dead cat in my living room, and I'm thinking, "Great, now I'm part of a crime scene investigation." I felt like I was on an episode of CSI: Pet Edition. I called my friends over like, "Put on your detective hats, folks. We've got a real whodunit on our hands." We started examining the scene, looking for clues. I even did that classic detective move where you taste something to identify it. I'm not saying it was the smartest move, but I had to be thorough. Turns out, it was just chocolate. I don't know how chocolate got involved in this pet mystery, but now I'm worried I have a ghost cat with a sweet tooth.
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You know, the other day I had a real paranormal experience. I walked into my living room, and there it was—a dead cat. Now, I don't have a cat, never had one. So, I'm thinking, did I just get haunted by a cat? Is this the feline version of Casper? I mean, I've heard of ghost stories, but a ghost cat? That's a whole new level of haunting. But here's the kicker: I'm not even mad at the ghost cat. I mean, it's gotta be tough being a cat ghost. You can't knock things off shelves or scratch furniture. What's a ghost cat even supposed to do? It's probably floating around, trying to figure out how to haunt me properly. Maybe it's a beginner ghost, just practicing for bigger haunts. "Okay, I've mastered knocking over a cup; next, I'm going for the TV!
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I started thinking about the possibilities with this ghost cat situation. I mean, if I had a ghost cat, I'd put it to work, you know? It could be the ultimate prankster. Imagine inviting people over, and suddenly things start floating around. You blame it on the ghost cat, and everyone's freaked out. It's like having a personal special effects team. I'd even consider renting out my ghost cat for parties. "Haunted House? Nah, we've got a haunted cat!" Just imagine the Yelp reviews: "Five stars, the ghost cat really added that extra spooky touch. Would hire again for birthdays and séances.
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