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Why did the dalai bring a map to the meditation retreat? He wanted to find his Zen-dalai zone!
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Why did the dalai bring a pillow to the comedy show? He wanted to find inner comfort in the punchlines!
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Why did the dalai bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the dalai insist on becoming a chef? He wanted to add a little peace and curry to everyone's life!
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You know you've made it in life when your stress level is Dalai Lama low. My stress level is more like 'I accidentally sent a text to the wrong person' high.
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I imagine the Dalai Lama's voicemail greeting is just him saying, 'You've reached a state of inner tranquility. Leave your message after the 'om.' If it's urgent, reach me through meditation – I'll get back to you in a few lifetimes.'
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I tried meditation once, but I couldn't get past the 'om' part. The Dalai Lama would be disappointed. He's probably up there on his mountain, shaking his head and saying, 'That guy needs some serious 'om'work.'
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I envy the Dalai Lama. He's got inner peace, wisdom, and probably a pantry full of snacks labeled 'Nirvana Nibbles.' Meanwhile, I'm over here stress-eating my feelings, wondering if 'enlightenment' comes in a pizza flavor.
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The Dalai Lama is so chill, he probably meditates through fire alarms. 'Oh, there's a fire? I thought it was just my inner peace crackling.'
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I heard the Dalai Lama is really good at telling jokes. I guess that's why he's so enlightened – he's got that killer punchline that transcends the material world.
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The Dalai Lama walks into a coffee shop, and the barista asks, 'What can I get you?' He replies, 'Make me one with everything.' Classic Dalai, always seeking oneness, even in his morning brew.
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I tried to be more like the Dalai Lama and find my inner calm. Turns out, my inner calm is just outer chaos wearing a disguise. The Dalai Lama would probably take one look at my inner peace and say, 'You call that tranquility?'
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I read that the Dalai Lama wakes up at 3 AM every day. I can barely open my eyes at that time. If I did, my inner dialogue would be like, '3 AM? The only thing I'm Lama about at this hour is how much I miss my pillow.'
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