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I tried practicing mindfulness like the Dalai Lama, but my mind is like a wild monkey on caffeine. It swings from thought to thought so fast that even the Dalai Lama would be like, "Dude, slow down!
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You ever notice how the Dalai Lama always looks so calm and collected? I mean, if I had to deal with traffic in a city like New York every day, I'd be the Dalai Drama!
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So, the Dalai Lama walks into a coffee shop, and the barista asks, "What can I get you?" He replies, "Make me one with everything." Classic Dalai Lama, always seeking enlightenment in a cup of coffee.
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I bet the Dalai Lama has mastered the art of patience. Meanwhile, I can't even wait for my microwave to finish without checking it every five seconds like it's a Dalai Drama cooking show.
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You ever notice how the Dalai Lama is always surrounded by people seeking wisdom? If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me for life advice, I'd have enough to hire the Dalai Lama as my personal life coach.
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I was thinking about meditation the other day, and I realized that even the Dalai Lama probably loses his focus sometimes. I mean, he's human too, right? Imagine him in the middle of a deep meditation, and suddenly his mind goes, "Did I leave the stove on in Tibet?
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I read somewhere that the Dalai Lama wakes up at 3 AM every day. I can barely manage to get up at 8 AM without feeling like I've missed the Dalai Drama that unfolded while I was asleep.
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You know you're getting old when you start relating to the Dalai Lama's choice of comfortable footwear. I mean, those sandals he wears? That's the real secret to inner peace – arch support!
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I aspire to be as zen as the Dalai Lama, but let's be real – my idea of meditation is binge-watching Netflix without checking my phone every two minutes. It's the modern Dalai Drama experience.
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