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So, I was reading about the Dalai Lama, and apparently, he said, "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness." That's nice, right? But imagine if everyone followed that philosophy. We'd have a world full of people saying, "I'm sorry, I cut you off in traffic. Have some kindness." But you know, even the Dalai Lama has his moments. I bet there are times when he's stuck in traffic, yelling, "Oh, for the love of karma, move your yak!" He's probably got a road rage mantra: "Om, Om, you idiot driver, get out of the way!"
And what about when someone steals his parking spot at the temple? Does he just smile and say, "May your next life be full of parking tickets"? That's the Dalai Drama Lama for you.
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You guys hear about the Dalai Lama? Yeah, the spiritual leader, the guy who's all about peace and enlightenment. I heard he's got a Netflix special now. Can you imagine that? "The Dalai Lama: Binge-Watching for Nirvana." I tuned in, expecting some deep philosophical insights. But no, it's just him scrolling through Netflix for hours, unable to decide what to watch. "Should I go for 'The Crown' or 'Stranger Things'? Ah, the struggles of inner peace!"
And you know how most people have a watchlist? His is more like a "watch circle of reincarnation." He's probably thinking, "If I don't watch 'Black Mirror' now, maybe I'll come back as an iPhone in my next life.
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So, the Dalai Lama is on social media now. Can you believe it? I saw his Twitter account. His tweets are like ancient proverbs mixed with emojis. "The path to enlightenment is like a river flowing 🌊. Just as the river merges with the ocean, so does the soul merge with the cosmos. #SpiritualFlow" And he's got followers from all around the world. I bet his DMs are filled with people asking for life advice. "Dear Dalai Lama, my Wi-Fi is down. How do I find inner peace without Netflix?" His response would probably be, "Connect with your inner hotspot, my child."
I can just imagine him scrolling through his feed, seeing drama and thinking, "Ah, the illusion of samsara, now with more cat videos." The Dalai Lama is like the ultimate influencer, spreading good vibes and enlightenment.
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I heard the Dalai Lama has a smartphone now. Can you picture him talking to Siri? "Siri, what is the meaning of life?" And Siri responds with, "Sorry, I cannot answer that question." Imagine the frustration on his face. "I've been meditating for decades, and Siri won't even tell me the meaning of life? What kind of karma is this?"
And when he asks Siri for directions to enlightenment, Siri says, "In 500 feet, turn left at the Bodhi tree." Siri, the ultimate guide to spiritual awakening. I wonder if Siri has a setting for "Zen mode" or "Enlightenment reminders." "It's time to meditate, Dalai Lama. Breathe in, breathe out, find your inner Wi-Fi signal.
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