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You ever notice how the Dalai Lama always has this serene smile on his face? I tried smiling like that during rush hour traffic, and the guy in the car next to me just assumed I was having a mental breakdown. Hey, inner peace, not road rage!
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The Dalai Lama once said, "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." Well, I tried that, and now I'm convinced mosquitoes are the true rulers of the universe. They certainly made a difference in my sleep quality.
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The Dalai Lama talks about simplicity, but have you seen the intricate process of making a cup of instant noodles? I'm pretty sure enlightenment is easier to achieve than perfectly timing the microwave for that three-minute cook.
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The Dalai Lama is all about spreading love and positivity. I tried that at the DMV, and they looked at me like I just offered them a lifetime supply of paperwork. Apparently, bureaucracy is immune to good vibes.
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You ever notice how the Dalai Lama is like the ultimate life coach? I mean, most of us turn to self-help books, but this guy's been meditating on mountain tops for decades. I tried that once, but my mountain turned out to be a molehill, and my meditation session ended with me swatting mosquitoes.
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The Dalai Lama is all about compassion and understanding. I tried applying that to my Wi-Fi router when it's acting up. I sat there, whispered sweet nothings to it, but the only enlightenment I got was realizing I need a new internet provider.
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The Dalai Lama always talks about inner peace and finding serenity. Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to find my car keys on a daily basis. If enlightenment is the key to peace, then I must be stuck in the wrong lock.
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The Dalai Lama says, "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." Well, Dalai Lama, I ordered pizza and got a salad instead. I'm still waiting for the stroke of luck to kick in.
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The Dalai Lama advises us to "Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality." I tried sharing my knowledge on quantum physics with my cat, but all I got was a judging stare. Turns out, my cat is not interested in immortality through theoretical physics.
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