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You know, folks, COVID-19 has turned our lives upside down. We went from shaking hands to doing this weird, awkward dance of elbow bumps. I mean, what happened to a simple "hello"? Now it's like, "Hey, nice to meet you, let's perform the ancient ritual of the distant elbow tap." It's like we're all undercover secret agents with a super top-secret handshake. And don't get me started on masks. I feel like a ninja going grocery shopping. I even tried to give my neighbor a friendly smile the other day, but realized he couldn't see it behind my mask. So now, I'm left making expressive eye contact like some sort of masked mime. It's like we're all starring in a silent comedy movie, but instead of slapstick, it's just a lot of confused eyebrow raises.
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Let's talk about Zoom meetings during the pandemic. I don't know about you, but my life has become a never-ending series of Zoom calls. I spend so much time in virtual meetings that I've started to judge people based on their Zoom backgrounds. If your background looks like you're in a spaceship or on a tropical island, I automatically assume you're either an astronaut or trying to escape reality. And then there are those moments when you forget you're on camera. I had one of those incidents where I thought I turned off my camera, and let's just say, the people on that Zoom call got an unexpected tour of my bedroom. Note to self: always double-check the camera icon.
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Remember when everyone went crazy over toilet paper? I never thought I'd live through a time when toilet paper would become a precious commodity. It was like the world collectively decided that the key to surviving a pandemic is to hoard as much toilet paper as possible. I walked into a grocery store, and the toilet paper aisle looked like the aftermath of a Black Friday sale. People were guarding their toilet paper stash like it was the last roll on Earth. And what's with the obsession with hoarding? It's like we all turned into survivalists overnight. I half-expected to see people trading toilet paper rolls like a new form of currency. "I'll give you two rolls for that can of beans and a pack of hand sanitizer.
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Social distancing has become an art form. We're all trying to maintain that magical six-foot distance, but it's like we're playing a game of human chess. I find myself doing this awkward dance on the sidewalk, trying to anticipate the movements of the person coming towards me. It's like a weird tango of politeness. "You go left, I'll go right, and we'll both pretend we're not doing the COVID shuffle." And then there are those moments when you accidentally get too close to someone, and you both do this simultaneous panic dance. It's like a scene from a comedy where the characters are trying to avoid each other but end up in a hilarious collision. Can we just agree that social distancing is the most awkward dance we never wanted to learn?
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