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I can't count on my pen to work when I need it. It's like my pen has performance anxiety – it writes perfectly during a boring meeting, but the moment I have to sign something important, it decides to take an ink vacation. "Sorry, no autographs today!
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I can never count on my phone's autocorrect to have my back. I sent a text to my boss saying I'd be "in the meeting shortly," but thanks to autocorrect, it became "in the mating shortly." Well, that was an awkward conversation in the boardroom.
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Trying to count on a vending machine to deliver what you want is like playing a slot machine, except the payout is a bag of chips instead of a jackpot. "Come on, lucky snack, mama needs a pick-me-up!
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Counting on your GPS for directions is an adventure. It's all confidence until it suddenly says, "Turn right," and you find yourself in someone's backyard, desperately hoping they have a gate to the next street.
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Ever try to count on your refrigerator light to be there for you in the middle of the night? You open it, and it's like a suspense thriller – will the light turn on, or will I be left fumbling for a midnight snack in the dark? The suspense is killing me, and I'm just trying to find the cheese!
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Grocery shopping is a real test of your ability to count on humanity. You're standing in the express checkout lane, and someone in front of you clearly can't count because they have 37 items. Come on, we all learned to count in kindergarten. Let's not pretend now!
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You know, I can never count on my Wi-Fi when I need it the most. It's like, the moment I'm about to make an important video call, my internet decides to take a coffee break. "Sorry, folks, no pixels for you today!
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Can we talk about self-checkout machines at grocery stores? They're like, "Hey, here's a simple task. Just scan, bag, and pay." But somehow, I end up feeling like a contestant on a game show racing against the clock. "Will she successfully buy her groceries before the 'unexpected item in the bagging area' buzzer goes off? Stay tuned!
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I can't count on my umbrella when it's windy. It's like a rebellious teenager – the more I try to control it, the more it wants to defy me. "You think you can protect me from the rain, huh? Watch me flip inside out!
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