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Why did the cookie monster apply for a job at the bakery? He kneaded the dough!
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What's the cookie monster's favorite social media platform? Insta-gram-crackers!
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What do you call a cookie monster with a great sense of humor? A witty chewer!
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What's the cookie monster's favorite type of movie? Anything with lots of crumb-stunts!
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What do you call a cookie monster who can't stop telling jokes? A pun-dit!
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I'm convinced the Cookie Monster is a relationship guru in disguise. Think about it - he's been teaching us the art of compromise for decades. 'Me want cookies' is basically his way of saying, 'Honey, let's compromise and get cookies together.'
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The Cookie Monster is the ultimate snack-time philosopher. I mean, when he says 'C is for cookie, that's good enough for me,' I'm over here reevaluating my life choices. Maybe I need to simplify things and find my own 'C is for coffee, that's good enough for me' mantra.
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The Cookie Monster is the true rebel of the Sesame Street gang. While everyone else is singing about the alphabet and counting, he's over there breaking the rules, eating cookies without a care in the world. I bet he's the reason there's a 'No Food in the Library' sign at Sesame Street.
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I tried talking to my doctor about my cookie addiction, and he said I needed to cut back. I thought about it for a second and said, 'But Doc, the Cookie Monster hasn't been to rehab, and he's doing just fine.' Let's just say, my doctor wasn't amused, but I left with a prescription for more cookies.
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The Cookie Monster is the original foodie influencer. I mean, he's been promoting cookies since before Instagram existed. If he had a social media account, it would be filled with posts like, 'Just had a double chocolate chip delight - feeling blessed and a bit crumbly.'
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You know you're an adult when you start relating to the Cookie Monster on a spiritual level. I mean, life throws cookies at you, and you just want to devour them all. But then you remember you have bills to pay, so you settle for the clearance rack cookies instead of the gourmet ones.
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If the Cookie Monster ran for president, I'd vote for him. I mean, imagine a world where the State of the Union address is just him standing at the podium, crumbs falling from his mouth, passionately declaring, 'More cookies for all!'
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I tried going on a cookie diet once. You know, where you eat only cookies and hope for the best. I call it the Cookie Monster lifestyle. But after a week, I realized the only thing I was losing was the ability to fit into my pants. The Cookie Monster makes it look so much easier on TV.
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I wish I had the Cookie Monster's confidence. I mean, imagine going through life with the belief that any problem can be solved with a cookie. Got a flat tire? Cookie. Relationship issues? Cookie. I bet if he was a therapist, his sessions would just be him handing out cookies and nodding wisely.
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The Cookie Monster - he's the only guy who can turn a trip to the grocery store into a covert mission. I mean, I've never seen someone sneak into the cookie aisle with such determination. It's like he's training for the Cookie Olympics, and the gold medal is a chocolate chip cookie.
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