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Joke Types
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I wanted to tell you a construction joke, but I'm still working on that. The punchline needs to be commensurate with the build-up!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just not commensurate with my nutty lifestyle!
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I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. The financial rise wasn't commensurate with the flour power!
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Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never be truly commensurate!
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I used to be a baker, but I quit. The dough wasn't commensurate with the amount of knead I had!
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I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time. The length was never commensurate with my expectations!
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I used to be a tailor, but I couldn't make ends meet. The stitches were just not commensurate!
Commensurate Chaos
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You ever notice how life's chaos and my organizational skills are about as commensurate as a cat trying to herd mice? I mean, they say things should be proportionate, but my life is like, Let's throw in a curveball and see if he can juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle.
Commensurate Commitment
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Relationships are supposed to be commensurate, right? I asked my significant other for a little commitment, and they handed me a puppy. I was thinking more like matching tattoos, not a furry bundle of Guess who's not going on vacation for the next decade?
Commensurate Conundrum
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Life is like a puzzle, they say. Well, I must have a commensurate puzzle because, no matter how hard I try, there's always that one missing piece. I'm convinced it's off somewhere having a great time without me.
Commensurate Confusion
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I tried to follow the instructions on assembling furniture, and they claimed it was commensurate with anyone's abilities. I ended up with a bookshelf that looked like modern art, and I'm pretty sure the extra parts were just there to mess with my head. I think the manual was written in riddles by a disgruntled poet.
Commensurate Coffee
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They say the amount of coffee you drink should be commensurate with your energy needs. Well, I'm over here drinking so much coffee, I'm pretty sure I've developed a new superpower. I can now hear colors, and yesterday, I swear the color orange told me a joke.
Commensurate Car Troubles
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I took my car in for repairs, and they assured me the bill would be commensurate with the fixes. When I saw the invoice, I felt like my car and I were in a toxic relationship. It was draining my bank account faster than a high-maintenance ex-partner with a shoe addiction.
Commensurate Currency
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I checked my bank account, and the balance was supposed to be commensurate with my hard work. Instead, it's more like my money sees a sale and does a disappearing act. I'm convinced there's a secret portal in my wallet that leads straight to the clearance section.
Commensurate Calories
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I tried this new diet, they said it's commensurate with my goals. But let me tell you, after a week of eating kale and quinoa, my body was like, Did you mean 'commensurate' with starving? I'm pretty sure I burned more calories rolling my eyes at the salad than I consumed.
Commensurate Computers
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I bought a new computer, and they promised it was commensurate with the latest technology. I turn it on, and it's moving at the speed of a snail with a hip replacement. I'm sitting there, waiting for it to load, and I age another year. It's not a computer; it's a time machine.
Commensurate Cooking
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I attempted a new recipe, and they said the ingredients were commensurate with my cooking skills. My kitchen looked like a crime scene. I'm chopping onions with safety goggles, flour everywhere like I've been in a culinary snowball fight. Forget about the dish; I was just hoping to survive dinner.
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