bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know what's fascinating about comas? The diet. Yeah, my friend's been in a coma for weeks, and I'm thinking they've probably lost a ton of weight. But no, they're on the coma diet, the most exclusive diet plan out there. I asked the nurse, "What's on the menu for coma patients?" She said, "Well, it's mostly a liquid diet, but don't worry, they get all the essential nutrients." I'm picturing a chef in the back blending up a steak and some mashed potatoes like it's a gourmet smoothie. "Bon appétit, Mr. Sandman!"
And don't even get me started on feeding tubes. I mean, I struggle to get spaghetti on a fork, and these doctors are threading a tube down someone's throat like they're setting up a water slide for food. "Enjoy the ride, taste buds!
0
0
You know, folks, I recently had a friend who went into a coma. Yeah, a coma! I didn't know whether to send flowers or a "Get Well Soon" card for their dreams. I mean, who knew taking a nap could be such a commitment? It's like they signed up for a Netflix series, and I'm just waiting for the season finale! I visited them in the hospital, and the doctor was explaining their condition. You know it's serious when the doctor starts using words like "vegetative state" and "minimal brain activity." I'm thinking, "Doc, you just described my Monday morning meetings at work!"
But seriously, coma is a tricky thing. I tried talking to my friend, telling them about all the crazy stuff happening in the world. Turns out, the only news they're interested in is what's happening in Dreamland. I'm there like, "Hey, did you hear about the pandemic?" And they're like, "Oh yeah, it's a real snoozer.
0
0
So, I'm sitting by my friend's bedside, talking to them about everything under the sun. You know, hoping some of my wit will penetrate their dream state. Suddenly, the doctor walks in, and I feel like I'm in an episode of Grey's Anatomy. The doctor starts discussing medical procedures, and I'm nodding along like I understand every complex term. Deep down, I'm thinking, "Please, let Grey's Anatomy be accurate, and let my friend wake up with McDreamy looks." But reality hits, and I realize I'm more of a Dr. Nick from The Simpsons than a McDreamy.
And that, my friends, is the drama of having a friend in a coma. It's like being stuck in a TV drama, but without the popcorn.
0
0
Have you ever noticed coma patients always look like they're ready to hit the red carpet at the Sleep Oscars? I walk into the hospital room, and my friend is lying there in this chic hospital gown, with the IV drip as their fashion accessory. I'm thinking, "Man, if they wake up and see how good they looked in a coma, they might want to go back for a nap!" I mean, I'm over here struggling to match my socks, and they're pulling off the "unconscious chic" look flawlessly. Maybe I should try sleeping through my morning routine; who knows, maybe I'll wake up with a modeling contract.
Post a Comment