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Chuck Norris's beard is the reason the Bermuda Triangle exists—it got lost in there once.
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Chuck Norris's beard is so legendary; it has its own action figure with a five o'clock shadow at noon.
Facial Fitness
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You ever try to do push-ups with your beard? Chuck's beard can bench press, mine just gets tangled in the yoga mat.
Bad Beard Day
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They say Chuck Norris's beard always looks good. Well, my beard wakes up looking like it just had a wild night out with a leaf blower.
Beard Therapy – Part 2
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Chuck's beard doesn't go to therapy; it just meditates until the universe aligns with its inner peace. Meanwhile, my beard is considering a support group for being constantly mistaken for a tumbleweed.
The Chuck Norris Beard
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You know, Chuck Norris's beard is so tough, it doesn't shave; it judo chops the hairs off its own follicles. My beard, on the other hand, just stares at me like, You really gonna try that with a disposable razor, buddy?
Bar Fight Ready
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Chuck's beard is so legendary, it once got into a bar fight and won. My beard gets into fights too, but it's more like a skirmish with a piece of broccoli during dinner.
Beard Therapy
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Chuck Norris's beard doesn't need therapy; it just stares into the mirror until it feels better. My beard? Well, it's currently on the couch, talking about its childhood issues with a tiny Freud figurine.
Beard & Technology
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Chuck Norris's beard doesn't need a GPS; it just follows its own magnetic field. My beard, on the other hand, still gets lost in the mall.
Beard Versus Nature
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Chuck's beard can withstand a hurricane. My beard starts frizzing the moment it senses a light drizzle.
Bearded Wisdom
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Chuck's beard is so wise; it once gave advice to a fortune cookie. Meanwhile, my beard just whispered, Maybe don't eat that second burrito.
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