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You know, they say change is the only constant in life, right? Well, I recently experienced a change that threw my whole world into chaos - the elimination of the penny. Yeah, the penny! I mean, come on, it's been around forever. I feel like the penny is the grandpa of coins. And now it's gone. I went to pay for something, and the cashier handed me my change without any pennies. I felt cheated, like I was missing a piece of the transaction. It's like, "Oh, thanks for the 98 cents, but where's my extra copper guy? I need my Abe Lincoln, dammit!"
I never thought I'd miss a coin so much. And you know what they say, "A penny for your thoughts." Well, now I don't even have a penny to offer for anyone's thoughts. What's next? Are they going to take away nickels and dimes too? Before you know it, we'll be paying for everything in chunks of gold. I can't afford that. I need my pennies!
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Have you ever thought about the last penny ever made? That poor, lonely penny just rolling off the minting machine, looking around, and realizing it's the end of an era. I imagine it giving a dramatic speech, like, "I am the last of my kind. The final copper crusader in a world that has forsaken us. But fear not, for I will face the cash registers with pride and dignity." And then, someone accidentally drops it in a fountain, and it's like, "Well, this is anticlimactic."
But seriously, I miss the penny. It was the unsung hero of loose change, the David among Goliaths. Farewell, dear penny. May you rest in peace at the bottom of coin jars and between couch cushions. You may be gone, but you'll always be worth more than two cents to me.
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So, they got rid of the penny, thinking it's outdated and useless. But let me tell you, the penny is not going down without a fight. I mean, think about it. Pennies are probably plotting their comeback in some secret coin meeting right now. I can picture it. Quarters are all like, "Hey, we're big and shiny. We're the kings of coins!" And then the pennies, in a dark corner, are whispering, "Just you wait. We'll be back, and we'll clog up all the change slots in the world. You'll see!"
I can imagine going to a store in the future, and the cashier hands me my change, and suddenly, pennies rain down on me from the heavens. It's the penny's revenge! They're taking back their place in the currency hierarchy, one annoying jingle at a time.
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Now that pennies are a rare commodity, I've become a penny hoarder. I'm stockpiling these little copper circles like they're gold bars. My friends come over, and they're like, "Why do you have a giant jar of pennies?" And I'm like, "Because they're valuable, man! You never know when the penny apocalypse is coming." I'm considering starting a penny investment firm. You know, advising people to buy low and hoard pennies for the impending shortage. I'll be the Warren Buffett of pennies, rolling in copper instead of cash.
I can see it now: "Invest in pennies! They might be small, but they'll be worth their weight in gold when the world realizes their true value.
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