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Cardiologists must have the best poker faces. I mean, imagine being the person telling them about your diet: "So, doc, I had a salad... with a side of fries... and maybe a milkshake." They nod, keeping that expression like they're not silently judging your life choices.
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You ever notice how a cardiologist's office is the only place where people willingly hop on a treadmill for a stress test? I mean, at the gym, we avoid those things like they're a medieval torture device, but at the doctor's office, we're like, "Sure, let's run and chat about my cholesterol at the same time.
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Have you ever noticed that the magazines in a cardiologist's waiting room are all about heart health? I'm sitting there, flipping through articles on kale smoothies and mindful meditation, thinking, "Can't I just read about celebrity gossip like at a regular doctor's office?
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Cardiologists must have a sixth sense for detecting hidden stashes of junk food. You walk into their office, and they immediately know you had a secret rendezvous with a bag of potato chips last night. It's like they're the Sherlock Holmes of sodium detection.
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I went to a cardiologist, and they handed me a heart rate monitor to wear for 24 hours. I felt like I was in a reality show about my own heart. "Coming up next, will he survive that third cup of coffee? Stay tuned!
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The worst part about seeing a cardiologist is trying to impress them with your healthy habits. I walked in like, "Yeah, I take the stairs sometimes... when the elevator is too crowded, and I'm feeling adventurous.
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Cardiologists must have a secret competition to see who can get the most steps in during a workday. They're probably pacing back and forth in the examination room, taking your blood pressure while breaking their own personal records.
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You know you're at a fancy cardiologist's office when the waiting room is so quiet you can hear your own heartbeat. I'm just sitting there, trying not to cough, thinking, "Is it too late to switch to a comedy-loving cardiologist who has a laughter-filled waiting room?
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I asked my cardiologist for advice on improving my cardiovascular health. He said, "Exercise regularly and cut down on stress." So now, every time I'm stressed, I do jumping jacks while reciting positive affirmations. My neighbors love the show.
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