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Joke Types
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Why did the bodybuilder get into gardening? To grow some 'muscle-seeds'!
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Why did the bodybuilder bring a ladder to the gym? Because he wanted to work on his 'up'-per body!
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Did you hear about the bodybuilder who opened a bakery? His specialty was 'buns' of steel!
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Why did the bodybuilder break up with his calculator? It couldn't handle his 'muscle' computations!
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Why did the bodybuilder carry a photo of his workout routine? To 'pump' up his memory!
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Why did the muscle-bound ghost join the haunted house? He heard they had 'dead'lifts!
Big Muscles
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I decided to join a fitness class because they said it would be a great way to build big muscles. So, I show up, and the instructor hands me a pink dumbbell. I felt like I was training for a tea party, not a triathlon. I asked him, Are these for lifting or accessorizing?
Big Muscles
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I overheard someone say, Big muscles are like money; you can never have too much. Well, I disagree. If you have too much money, people might rob you. If you have too many muscles, people might mistake you for the Hulk. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... or trying to find a shirt that fits.
Big Muscles
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I tried doing push-ups to get big muscles, but halfway through, I realized that the only thing getting stronger was my floor-squeaking game. I figured if I had to make that much noise to get in shape, I might as well just join a tap-dancing class.
Big Muscles
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I bought a protein shake because it said it would give me big muscles. Now, I don't know about the muscles, but it sure gave me the ability to pronounce ingredients I've never heard of before. Oh yes, I'd like the whey protein isolate with a side of amino acids, please.
Big Muscles
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I asked my friend, who's all about big muscles, if he wanted to go for a run. He said, I don't run; I lift! I guess he's training for the day when the gym is the only safe place during a zombie apocalypse.
Big Muscles
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I met this guy who claimed to have big muscles, but I think his muscles were on a smoke break when he said that. I mean, his idea of a workout was flexing in front of the mirror. I told him, Dude, your muscles are like politicians – all talk, no action!
Big Muscles
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I tried doing squats to get big muscles, but my knees started creaking louder than a haunted house. I felt like I was auditioning for the role of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. Maybe I should oil my joints instead of lifting weights.
Big Muscles
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You know, I've been trying to get in shape lately. I saw this guy at the gym with these big muscles, I mean, his biceps had their own social security numbers. I asked him for workout advice, and he said, Bro, the secret is to lift heavy. I thought he meant weights, turns out he was talking about his ego!
Big Muscles
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I saw this guy with big muscles at the beach, and he was flexing like he was auditioning for a Baywatch remake. I tried to do the same, but I think I pulled a muscle trying to impress a seagull. Note to self: seagulls don't care about your pecs.
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