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Why do we always trust restaurant menus like they're gospel until the waiter mentions the specials? Suddenly, it's like we're on an episode of "Let's Make a Deal.
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You know you're in trouble when you're on a diet and suddenly everyone around you becomes a food critic. "Oh, you're eating a salad? Is that a cry for help?
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Why is it that the one time you decide to eat something messy is always the moment someone wants to have a deep conversation? Sorry, can we table the philosophy until after this taco?
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Ever notice how food has this magical ability to become invisible in the fridge? You put something in there and suddenly it's like it goes undercover until you're hungry, and then it's nowhere to be found!
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Eating popcorn at the movies is like a sport. You've got the strategy of trying to time your bites with the quiet scenes, but somehow you always end up with a mouthful right when the hero's about to drop a one-liner.
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You ever notice how when you're eating something really good, time just seems to stop? It's like the universe hits pause when your taste buds are having a party. I wish I could eat at that speed all the time.
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Ever notice how food commercials make everything look so perfect? I tried recreating one of those burgers once. My kitchen looked like a crime scene and the burger... well, let's just say it had an identity crisis.
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You know you're a grown-up when your idea of a wild night involves eating something you haven't tried before and not regretting it the next day.
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I've realized the most judgmental looks come from people when they catch you eating something they're not eating. It's like, "Oh, you're having that? Interesting life choice.
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