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I tried to make small talk with an arms dealer once. Asked him if he liked gardening. He looked at me and said, "I prefer planting seeds of destruction." Well, I guess we all have our hobbies.
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Ever notice how arms dealers always seem to have the best poker faces? I tried playing poker with one once. Every time he got a good hand, he'd just look at me and say, "You might want to fold, buddy.
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I saw an arms dealer at the grocery store the other day, comparing different brands of canned beans. I guess even they need to stock up for the apocalypse, right? Gotta have a well-balanced diet, explosions included.
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You know, arms dealers are the real fashionistas of the criminal underworld. They can turn a bulletproof vest into a runway-worthy ensemble. It's all about accessorizing with a hint of danger.
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I was at the arms dealer convention the other day. Surprisingly, they had a strict "no hands-on" policy. I mean, come on, I just wanted to try out the latest in rocket launcher technology. Is that too much to ask?
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You ever notice how arms dealers are the only ones who can use the phrase "business is booming" without any hint of irony? Meanwhile, my business is struggling, and I can't even sell a lemonade stand in the neighborhood.
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I asked my arms dealer friend if he could recommend a good self-defense class. He looked at me and said, "Why bother learning karate when you can just press the 'fire' button?
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You know you're an arms dealer when your business card has a tagline that says, "Bringing people together, one gun at a time.
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I recently met an arms dealer who told me he had connections everywhere. I asked him if he could get me a discount on a blender. He looked at me and said, "Sure, but only if it comes with a detachable grenade feature.
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