5 Jokes For A Doctor And A Lawyer

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jul 28 2025

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Prescription vs. Contract

When a doctor and a lawyer collaborate
I told my lawyer I was feeling under the weather, and he said, 'I'll draft you a legal document to make the illness sign a non-disclosure agreement.'

The Courtroom Clinic

When a doctor is a witness in a legal case
I was in court as a witness, and the lawyer asked, 'Is it true you have a steady hand?' I replied, 'Yes, especially when I'm writing prescriptions or signing medical bills.'

The Doctor's Diagnosis

When a lawyer visits a doctor
Doctors and lawyers both give advice, but the difference is, one tells you to take two pills, and the other tells you to take two depositions.

Legal Remedies

When a doctor needs legal advice
I went to a lawyer with a medical issue, and he said, 'We'll need to file a lawsuit against your immune system.' I didn't know I could sue my own body. Turns out, I have a strong case.

Waiting Room Chronicles

Lawyers and doctors in the waiting room
Doctors have those soothing nature sounds in their waiting rooms. Lawyers have the sound of a ticking clock, counting down the billable minutes.

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