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The Conspiracy Theorist
Believing pens have secret lives
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I swear, my pens at home reproduce. I buy one, and suddenly there's a whole family of pens in the drawer. I'm starting to think they have a secret breeding ground when I'm not looking. Maybe they're planning to take over the world, one office at a time.
The Pen Detective
Investigating the mysterious disappearance of pens
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I caught someone red-handed taking my pen. I confronted them, and they looked at me like I was accusing them of grand theft. I said, "You can run, but you can't hide, not from the Pen Detective!" I felt like Sherlock Holmes, but with more ink stains.
The Office Worker
Running out of pens at work
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The other day, I had to sign a birthday card for a coworker. I had to go on a pen hunt like I was on a quest for the Holy Grail. Found one eventually, and when I handed it back, someone said, "Wow, Dave, that's a nice pen!" I replied, "Thanks, it's my 401(k).
The Forgetful One
Forgetting to return borrowed pens
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The worst is when someone asks for their pen back, and I'm there trying to recall where I left it. It's like I'm on a pen treasure hunt, but the treasure is usually found in the last place I look, which is always the place I least expect.
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