bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever notice how pens seem to multiply like rabbits? Seriously, I'm convinced that when I'm not looking, my pens are having some secret pen party, inviting all their pen friends over to make more little pen babies. I start with a reasonable number, and suddenly, I'm drowning in pens! It's like they have a secret society or something. I'm convinced that pens are the vampires of the office supplies. You turn your back for a second, and they've bitten the paper, draining its life force with their ink. And it doesn't matter how many pens you start with; somehow, you always end up with that one pen that's been to the dark side. You pick it up, and instead of writing, it's trying to suck your blood... or at least leave a giant ink stain on your shirt.
I recently cleaned out my desk and found pens I didn't even know I owned. It's like they were hiding, playing a game of office hide and seek. I swear, if pens could talk, they'd be like, "Hey, Bob, check this out. Watch me disappear for three months, and then they'll find me stuck to the bottom of a drawer. Classic pen move!"
And then there's the mystery of where all the pens go. You buy a pack of 70, and within a week, you can't find a single one. It's like they've entered the witness protection program or something. "I'm sorry, sir, I can't disclose the location of Pen #47. It's living a new life as a bookmark in someone's novel.
0
0
Can we talk about pen clickers for a moment? You know the ones. They sit in meetings, click-click-clicking away like they're the percussion section of the office orchestra. I don't know if they're trying to stay awake or auditioning for a role in the next pen-clicking ASMR video. I tried to count once how many times someone clicked their pen during a particularly long meeting. I lost count at 237. I was torn between being impressed by their commitment and wanting to launch their pen into orbit just to make it stop.
And there's always that one person who thinks they're the Mozart of pen clicking, turning it into a performance art. They're not just clicking; they're creating a rhythm, a melody. I half expect them to start conducting the meeting with their pen, like, "And now, the budget report, brought to you by the soothing sounds of my Bic Symphony in Blue."
I'm convinced that pen clickers are the reason why some companies switched to virtual meetings. It's not about productivity; it's about preserving the sanity of everyone in the room.
0
0
I bought a pack of 70 pens once. Seventy! I felt like a pen magnate, the Bill Gates of ballpoints. But here's the thing: no matter how many pens you buy, they will disappear. It's like there's a black hole in my house that specifically targets writing instruments. I bet somewhere in the universe, there's a planet made entirely of lost pens. It's the Bermuda Triangle for office supplies. NASA should send a probe there just to see if it comes back covered in ink stains.
And it's not just at home. At work, I guard my pens like a dragon guarding its treasure. Colleagues borrow them and never return them. It's the great pen heist of the 21st century! I'm considering attaching a GPS tracker to my favorite pen, just to see where it goes when it's not in my hand.
But despite all the pen drama, there's something strangely satisfying about finding a pen you thought was lost forever. It's like a reunion with a long-lost friend. "Oh, Pen #42, where have you been? You went on an epic adventure to the bottom of my bag, didn't you?
0
0
Do you remember the good old days when people actually wrote things by hand? Now, it's all about keyboards and touchscreens. I swear, the only time people pick up a pen nowadays is to sign their name or pretend they know how to write in cursive during a job interview. Cursive used to be a big deal. They taught it in school like it was the key to success. "You'll use cursive for the rest of your life!" they said. Lies! The only time I use cursive now is when I'm signing a birthday card, and even then, it looks like I'm trying to communicate with aliens.
And pens themselves have changed. Remember when a pen was just a pen? Now we have pens that can record audio, take pictures, and probably make you a cup of coffee if you ask nicely. I just want a pen that writes consistently without dying after three sentences. Is that too much to ask?
But despite all the technology, there's something magical about putting pen to paper. It's like you're creating a piece of history, even if it's just a grocery list. "And on this day, in the year 2023, I needed eggs and milk.
Post a Comment