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Joke Types
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What's Ganon's favorite type of math? Trigonometry, because it's 'sinister'!
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Why did the cucco apply for a job in the orchestra? It had a great 'cluck-tion' of instruments!
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Why did Link bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Ganon start a bakery? He wanted to make a killing with his 'evil rolls'!
Dating in the Zelda Universe
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Dating in the Zelda universe must be complicated. Imagine trying to impress someone by breaking into their house, smashing all their pottery, and stealing their rupees. Hey, babe, I got you a heart container. Wanna grab a heart-shaped health boost together?
Zelda GPS System
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If Zelda had a GPS system, it would be hilarious. In 500 feet, turn left at the talking tree. If you reach the dodongo's cavern, you've gone too far. Recalculating.
Zelda Logic: Breaking Pots for Savings
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In Zelda, you break pots to find money. I tried that in real life, and let me tell you, my landlord was not happy. What do you mean you broke all the dishes in the kitchen, looking for loose change?!
The Legend of Zelda: Adulting Edition
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You ever play The Legend of Zelda? I love that game. But you know, as I get older, I feel like they should release an adult version. Instead of saving princesses and fighting monsters, Link should be battling the existential dread of a 9 to 5 job. Picture this: Link, in a suit and tie, facing his arch-nemesis - the office printer that never works. It's dangerous to go alone, take this stapler!
Zelda Cooking Adventures
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In Zelda, you cook by throwing random ingredients into a pot. I tried that in real life. Spoiler alert: You can't just throw a fish, a mushroom, and a fairy into a pot and expect a gourmet meal. The health department was not impressed.
Zelda Villains and Therapy
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Ganondorf, the main villain in Zelda, has some serious issues. I mean, he's been trying to take over Hyrule for decades. Dude needs therapy. I can imagine his therapist saying, So, how does it make you feel when a kid in a green hat keeps thwarting your evil plans?
Zelda Hairstyles: Master Sword vs. Bedhead
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Link always has that perfectly coiffed hairstyle. I tried to achieve it, but I think I ended up with more of a Master Sword look. My hair has more angles than a trigonometry textbook.
Zelda: Hyrule Real Estate
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I heard property values in Hyrule are skyrocketing. Probably because of all those secret fairy fountains. Looking for a new home? This one comes with its very own source of eternal youth. Great for resale value!
Zelda Fitness Program
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I've been trying to get in shape, so I started following Link's fitness routine. You know, running through fields, smashing barrels, and avoiding chickens. Turns out, my neighbors aren't too thrilled about me practicing my sword skills in the backyard. It's not assault, it's cardio!
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