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Wooden legs must be the original fitness trackers. You take a step, and it's like, "Congratulations, you've just burned five calories and gained one admirer who's fascinated by your unique sense of style.
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Wooden legs are like the original eco-friendly transportation. Forget about electric cars, just slap some wheels on those bad boys, and you're rolling down the street, reducing your carbon footprint and leaving a trail of splinters behind.
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You ever notice how having a wooden leg is like having a permanent backup chair? Like, you're never really without a seat, you're just bringing your own wherever you go. "Oh, this crowded subway? Let me just pop a squat on my trusty oak limb.
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Imagine having a wooden leg and participating in a dance-off. It's like a natural percussion instrument. You're out there, busting a move, and everyone else is just clapping along to the rhythm of your unintentional tap dance. It's the ultimate party accessory.
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I bet people with wooden legs are immune to certain fears. Like, spiders? Please, they've been dealing with the ultimate creepy crawlies since day one – termites. A little arachnid is no match for a determined insect with a taste for oak.
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Wooden legs are like the silent comedians of the body parts world. They're not making a sound, but you know they're delivering a performance with every step. Charlie Chaplin would be proud.
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I was talking to a guy with a wooden leg the other day, and I asked him if he ever gets tired of people staring. He said, "Nah, it's like having a built-in conversation starter. I just tell them I'm in a committed relationship with a tree.
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You know you've made it in life when you see a guy with a wooden leg crossing the street faster than people with two perfectly functional limbs. It's like they've got a secret turbo boost hidden in there.
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I saw a sign at the doctor's office that said, "No pets allowed." I thought, "Well, that's fair, but what about wooden legs? Are they considered emotional support limbs?" I mean, they've been through a lot with their owners.
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