4 Jokes For Wilson

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 31 2025

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So, Wilson's telling me about his dating life, or lack thereof. He's like, "It's tough being a ghost in the dating scene. I can't buy flowers; they just go right through my hand. And don't get me started on trying to give a goodnight kiss. It's like playing a game of 'where did my lips go?'"
He tried online dating once, but the profile picture was a bit of a challenge. "How do you take a selfie when the camera goes through your face? It's just a floating phone! No wonder I got ghosted.
Wilson's got this haunted house, right? But he's having trouble keeping up with all the haunted house trends. He's like, "I tried the whole creaky floorboards and rattling chains routine, but kids these days aren't scared. They're just like, 'Dude, my apartment does that when the wind blows.'"
And then there's the issue of ghost meetings. Apparently, there's a union for ghosts, and Wilson's upset because he didn't get the memo. "I've been haunting my heart out, and now they're telling me I missed the annual ghost convention. It's like being the only ghost who didn't get the dress code memo.
You ever notice how ghosts have it tough? Yeah, I was talking to this ghost named Wilson the other day. Poor guy died in the 1800s, but he's still having trouble adjusting to modern technology. I mean, he's trying to haunt people, but they're just too busy staring at their phones. He's like, "Back in my day, we haunted face to face!"
And then there's the whole invisibility thing. Wilson is complaining, "I used to be the talk of the town with my spooky shenanigans. Now, people just think they have a glitchy security camera. It's a ghost identity crisis!
You know, Wilson has a bit of a complex about the whole Casper the Friendly Ghost thing. He's like, "Why does Casper get all the love? I try to be friendly, and people just run away screaming. Maybe I should've worn a cute little bowtie or something."
He tried to make friends with a kid once, and the kid just looked at him and said, "You're no Casper!" Wilson's response? "Well, you're no friendly kid. Touche, little buddy, touche."
So, yeah, spare a thought for Wilson, the unappreciated ghost with a bowtie complex. He's just trying to make haunting great again!

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