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Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets!
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Why don't we ever see coins playing hide and seek? Because they always get change!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
When You Give People Money
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Have you ever lent someone money and suddenly they vanish off the face of the earth? It's like they entered the witness protection program because they owe you twenty bucks. I'm thinking, Buddy, I just want my money back, not a secret handshake and a map to your undisclosed location!
When You Give People Money
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Lending money is like playing financial hide and seek. You give it to someone, and suddenly they're masters at disappearing. I'm starting to think they're taking lessons from Houdini or maybe attending a vanishing seminar. Today's lesson, how to vanish without a trace after borrowing twenty bucks.
When You Give People Money
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You ever notice how when you give people money, suddenly they become financial experts? Like, you hand them a twenty, and all of a sudden, they've got stock market predictions, investment strategies, and a PowerPoint presentation ready to go. I'm just thinking, Dude, I just wanted you to grab me a burger, not turn my life savings into a rollercoaster ride!
When You Give People Money
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I gave my cousin some money once, and now he thinks he's my financial advisor. He's sending me charts, graphs, and budget plans. I'm like, Dude, I just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar, not get a crash course in economic theory!
When You Give People Money
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I tried to be generous once, handed a friend a couple of bucks. You'd think I'd just given them a winning lottery ticket. They start listing all the things they're going to do with it: I'll invest, I'll save, I'll start a business. I'm sitting there thinking, Man, I just wanted to make sure you didn't starve, not turn you into the next Elon Musk!
When You Give People Money
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You know you're in trouble when someone asks, Can you lend me some money? and your first instinct is to reply, Can you lend me some back in a week? It's a financial quid pro quo. We're stuck in a perpetual borrowing loop, like a never-ending game of economic tag.
When You Give People Money
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Ever notice how the moment you lend someone money, they develop selective amnesia? It's like a magic trick. You hand over the cash, and poof, they forget they ever knew you. Next time, I'm attaching a GPS tracker to the bills, so I can follow my money's thrilling adventures.
When You Give People Money
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I handed my roommate some money, and now they're living the high life. They've upgraded from instant noodles to gourmet microwave dinners. I'm thinking, Dude, I just wanted you to stop raiding my fridge, not become the Gordon Ramsay of frozen meals!
When You Give People Money
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I handed my friend some cash, and suddenly they became a financial philosopher. They started dropping wisdom like Confucius with a wallet. Money is like a river, flowing and abundant. I'm like, No, money is like my patience—running out fast if you don't give it back!
When You Give People Money
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You know how they say money can't buy happiness? Well, apparently, it can rent it for a little while. I handed my friend some cash, and suddenly they were grinning from ear to ear. I'm like, Hold on, did I just finance your temporary happiness? Is this a happiness lease or something?
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