19 Jokes About Wealth

Puns

Updated on: Feb 25 2025

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Why did the rich dog sit in the shade? It didn't want to be a hot dog!
Why did the rich man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a wealthy belt? A million-naire!
Why did the wealthy tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why don't rich people do well in races? They always have too much cash to burn!
What's a wealthy cat's favorite color? Purrr-ple!
I bought a boat because it was for sail!
Why did the rich kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
Why did the millionaire install a doorbell at the bank? He wanted to know when his balance was ringing up!

I Have a Trust Fund, It's Just That Nobody Trusts Me With Funds

People always talk about trust funds like they're some golden ticket to an easy life. I have a trust fund too. It's just that my family doesn't trust me with it. Apparently, spending it all on inflatable unicorns wasn't the best investment strategy.

I'm So Wealthy, I Use $100 Bills as Napkins

I'm not saying I'm wealthy, but I use $100 bills as napkins. Not for any particular reason, they just have a nice texture, you know? It's like wiping your mouth with success.

I Have a Money Back Guarantee on My Happiness, Unfortunately, It's Non-Refundable

I'm so confident in my happiness that I have a money-back guarantee. The only problem is, it's non-refundable. It's like buying a parachute with a no-return policy – you better be happy on the way down.

I Invested in Cryptocurrency, Now My Money Speaks a Different Language

I decided to invest in cryptocurrency. Now, whenever I check my portfolio, my money speaks a different language. It's like my bank account is hosting its own international summit, and all I wanted was to buy a pizza.

My Credit Score Is So Low, Even My Microwave Judges Me

I recently checked my credit score, and let's just say, it's so low, my microwave gives me disapproving looks when I use my credit card to buy popcorn. It's a tough crowd in my kitchen.

Rich and Famous, but Not in the Same Tax Bracket

You ever notice how people say money can't buy happiness? Well, I've tried buying a yacht and a private island, and let me tell you, I've never seen a sad person on a jet ski. Unless they're stuck in traffic.

My Bank Called Me, I Thought It Was a Prank Call

The other day, my bank called me. I thought it was a prank call. Who calls people about money these days? I almost hung up and asked them to send me a text with my account balance. It's 2023, people!

I Bought a Money Tree, Turns Out It Only Grows Coupons

I heard money doesn't grow on trees, so I bought a money tree. It's doing great, except the bills it grows are usually just coupons for discount haircuts and expired yogurt.

I Tried to Join the 1%, but They Said My Application Was Too Poor

I thought about joining the ranks of the super wealthy, you know, being part of the 1%. But apparently, they have this thing against membership fees. Who knew?

I Tried to Buy Happiness, But They Were Out of Stock

I read somewhere that you can buy happiness. So, I went to the store to get some, but they were out of stock. I guess I'll have to settle for joy on layaway.

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