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Why did the rich man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why don't rich people do well in races? They always have too much cash to burn!
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Why did the rich kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the millionaire install a doorbell at the bank? He wanted to know when his balance was ringing up!
I Have a Trust Fund, It's Just That Nobody Trusts Me With Funds
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People always talk about trust funds like they're some golden ticket to an easy life. I have a trust fund too. It's just that my family doesn't trust me with it. Apparently, spending it all on inflatable unicorns wasn't the best investment strategy.
I'm So Wealthy, I Use $100 Bills as Napkins
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I'm not saying I'm wealthy, but I use $100 bills as napkins. Not for any particular reason, they just have a nice texture, you know? It's like wiping your mouth with success.
I Have a Money Back Guarantee on My Happiness, Unfortunately, It's Non-Refundable
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I'm so confident in my happiness that I have a money-back guarantee. The only problem is, it's non-refundable. It's like buying a parachute with a no-return policy – you better be happy on the way down.
I Invested in Cryptocurrency, Now My Money Speaks a Different Language
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I decided to invest in cryptocurrency. Now, whenever I check my portfolio, my money speaks a different language. It's like my bank account is hosting its own international summit, and all I wanted was to buy a pizza.
My Credit Score Is So Low, Even My Microwave Judges Me
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I recently checked my credit score, and let's just say, it's so low, my microwave gives me disapproving looks when I use my credit card to buy popcorn. It's a tough crowd in my kitchen.
Rich and Famous, but Not in the Same Tax Bracket
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You ever notice how people say money can't buy happiness? Well, I've tried buying a yacht and a private island, and let me tell you, I've never seen a sad person on a jet ski. Unless they're stuck in traffic.
My Bank Called Me, I Thought It Was a Prank Call
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The other day, my bank called me. I thought it was a prank call. Who calls people about money these days? I almost hung up and asked them to send me a text with my account balance. It's 2023, people!
I Bought a Money Tree, Turns Out It Only Grows Coupons
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I heard money doesn't grow on trees, so I bought a money tree. It's doing great, except the bills it grows are usually just coupons for discount haircuts and expired yogurt.
I Tried to Join the 1%, but They Said My Application Was Too Poor
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I thought about joining the ranks of the super wealthy, you know, being part of the 1%. But apparently, they have this thing against membership fees. Who knew?
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