18 Jokes For Wash Your Hands

Puns

Updated on: Jun 21 2024

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea... but it definitely knows to wash its hooves!
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up the pants without washing hands first!
Why did the soap refuse to play cards? It was afraid of getting caught in a lather!
Why don't ghosts get sick? Because they have a 'ghoul' hand hygiene routine!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts... or hands to wash!
How did the cucumber feel in the salad? Cool as a cucumber, especially after a thorough hand wash!
What do you get when you cross a bar of soap with a snowman? Frostbite prevention and really clean hands!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open without washing its hands!

Wash Your Hands

My doctor told me that washing your hands is the best way to prevent illness. So now, I'm not just washing my hands; I'm giving them a spa treatment. Cucumber slices, relaxing music, the whole nine yards. I figure if I pamper my hands, they'll return the favor by keeping me healthy.

Wash Your Hands

You know you're an adult when you get excited about buying fancy soap. I found this soap that claims to have magical moisturizing powers. I used it, and now I'm waiting for my hands to grant wishes. So far, all I've got is a genie who complains about dry skin.

Wash Your Hands

I don't trust people who don't wash their hands after using the restroom. It's like they're playing a game of bacterial roulette. I'm here scrubbing away, and they're out there living on the edge. I bet they're the same people who jaywalk and eat gas station sushi.

Wash Your Hands

I read that most people don't wash their hands properly. It's not a race, folks. You don't get extra points for speed washing. I'm starting a movement: Slow and Soapy. We're the folks who take our time in the restroom and come out with the cleanest hands in town.

Wash Your Hands

I'm convinced that the person who invented hand sanitizer was just too lazy to find a sink. I don't want to walk to the bathroom; let's just put some magic goo on our hands and call it a day. I mean, it's convenient, but I miss the drama of a good handwashing showdown.

Wash Your Hands

I saw a sign in the restroom that said, Employees must wash hands before returning to work. I'm thinking, why is this limited to just employees? Shouldn't it be everyone? I want the guy flipping my burger to have clean hands, but I also want the guy next to me at the urinal to have clean hands. We're all in this together, right?

Wash Your Hands

I'm not saying I'm a germaphobe, but I've turned handwashing into an Olympic sport. I time myself and compete against my own personal best. It's like, And he's at the sink, folks! Look at that lather technique. It's impeccable! Judges, what do we think? A perfect 10 for form!

Wash Your Hands

They say you should sing Happy Birthday twice while washing your hands to make sure you've done it long enough. Now, if I hear someone belting out Happy Birthday in a public restroom, I don't know if they're celebrating hygiene or if it's just their weird bathroom ritual. Either way, I'm clapping when they're done.

Wash Your Hands

You ever notice how people need a public service announcement to remind them to wash their hands? I mean, what's next? A reminder to blink? Hey, folks, don't forget to moisten those eyeballs!

Wash Your Hands

Washing your hands is the first line of defense against getting sick. I take it so seriously that I've developed a ninja-like technique for using paper towels to open bathroom doors. I call it Stealth Exit. If there were hand hygiene Olympics, I'd be a gold medalist.

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