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Why did the Valentine's Day card apply for a job? It wanted to work at the heart of the matter!
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Why did the Valentine's Day card get in trouble? It was full of love notes!
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What did the paper clip say to the Valentine's Day card? 'I'm attached to you!
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Why did the Valentine's Day cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly!
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What's the best way to steal someone's heart on Valentine's Day? Kidnap a cardiologist!
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Valentine's Day is the Olympics of love. You've got people competing in the 'Longest Love Poem' event and others in the 'Fastest Dinner Reservation' category. And then there's me, just trying not to trip over my own feelings.
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Valentine's Day is the day when the greeting card industry laughs all the way to the bank. 'You want a piece of cardboard that says 'I Love You'? That'll be $5.99, please.' It's like they're charging us for emotional expression.
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Valentine's Day is like a relationship audit. If you don't get a gift, it's like the IRS knocking on your heart's door, saying, 'We've noticed a lack of romantic investment here. You owe us a romantic gesture.'
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Valentine's Day is the one day when single people look at couples and think, 'They're either the luckiest people on Earth or the best actors I've ever seen.' It's like watching a romantic comedy, but you're not sure if it's a feel-good film or a horror movie.
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Valentine's Day is like a surprise party thrown by your emotions. You either get a gift or an emotional meltdown – there's no in-between. It's like my heart is playing a game of 'Guess What You'll Get!' with my sanity.
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Valentine's Day is the only day when dining out feels like attending a high-stakes poker game. You're sitting there thinking, 'Should I go all-in with the lobster, or play it safe with the salad?' It's like a culinary gamble for love.
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Valentine's Day is the only day when your relationship status is more unpredictable than the weather. It's like, 'Will it be sunny with love, or will there be a storm of singledom?' You never know!
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Valentine's Day, the one day a year where chocolates and flowers become relationship therapists. 'Here, babe, eat this chocolate and forget that argument we had.' It's like a sugar-coated apology with a side of roses.
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Valentine's Day is the day when people in relationships suddenly become mathematicians. 'If I buy her flowers, plus a card, minus the cost of dinner, does that equal a night of romantic success?' Love, the only subject where algebra might actually come in handy.
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