18 Jokes For Valentine's Day Card

Puns

Updated on: Aug 31 2024

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Why did the Valentine's Day card decide to travel? It wanted to mail love from afar!
What do you call a Valentine's Day card that can sing? A sent-imental card!
What do you call a nervous Valentine's Day card? A fluttering love note!
What do you call a group of Valentine's Day cards? A love letter ensemble!
What do you call a Valentine's Day card that tells jokes? A witty love note!
What did the Valentine's Day card say to the pencil? 'You're the write one for me!
Why did the Valentine's Day card refuse to fight? It didn’t want to be torn apart!
What do you call a Valentine's Day card for a bee? Honey, comb to me!

Valentine's Day Weather Forecast

I told my girlfriend, Our love is like the weather – unpredictable but always present. She said, More like a storm – loud, messy, and likely to cause power outages. Well, they do say love is a force of nature.

Valentine's Day vs. Reality

Valentine's Day is like a greeting card versus reality. I gave my girlfriend a card that said, You complete me, and she handed me one that said, You complete the laundry. I guess love means different things to different people.

Valentine's Day Alarm

I gave my girlfriend a Valentine's Day card that said, You set my heart on fire. She looked at it and deadpanned, Great, now we need a fire extinguisher and a new smoke alarm. Love should be passionate, not pyrotechnic!

Valentine's Day Calendar Confusion

I got my boyfriend a Valentine's Day card that said, You're my one and only. He looked at it and asked, Is this for the right year, or are you planning ahead? Apparently, my love is timeless, but my calendar skills need some work.

Valentine's Day Cheapskate

I thought I'd save some money this Valentine's Day. I gave my wife a card that said, You're priceless. She looked at me and replied, Apparently, so is the effort you put into this card. Well, you can't put a price on love, but apparently, you can put a price on a good card.

Valentine's Day Auto-Correct Oops

I sent my crush a heartfelt Valentine's Day message, and thanks to auto-correct, it turned into, You're the pinecone of my eye. Pinecone? I guess even my phone knows I'm a bit nuts in love.

Valentine's Day Cardiac Arrest

You know, I got my girlfriend a Valentine's Day card, and I thought I nailed it. The front said, You make my heart race, and inside it read, But not enough to cause cardiac arrest, right? I like to keep love thrilling, but within the bounds of CPR, folks.

Valentine's Encryption

Valentine's Day is like trying to decrypt a secret code. I handed my crush a card that said, You're the key to my encryption. She looked at me and said, Did you just friend-zone me with a cryptographic metaphor? Well, at least I'm ensuring my love life is secure.

Valentine's Day Diet

I gave my wife a Valentine's Day card that said, You're the sweetest thing in my life. She handed me a card that said, Please don't bring home any more chocolate – we're on a diet. Love may be sweet, but apparently, our waistlines can't handle it.

Valentine's GPS Fail

I gave my wife a Valentine's Day card that said, You're my destination. She looked at it and replied, Great, but could you find the actual destination without relying on Google Maps next time? Well, at least I didn't get lost in love.

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