bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
I swear, Tommy has this uncanny ability to show up exactly when you don't want him to. You're having a romantic dinner, the mood is just right, and suddenly there's Tommy, like a superhero with terrible timing. He'll barge in, uninvited, with a big grin on his face, ready to share the latest conspiracy theory he found online. Tommy, if you're out there listening, I appreciate your enthusiasm for knowledge, but can you please get a calendar? Maybe schedule your wisdom bombs for a more convenient time, like when I'm not on a date!
0
0
You ever notice how everyone's got that one friend who thinks they know everything? Well, I've got Tommy. I'm telling you, Tommy is like a walking encyclopedia—of useless information. You bring up any topic, and he's got a fact for it. "Tommy, did you know the average person spends six months of their life waiting for red lights to turn green?" Who cares, Tommy? I've got better things to do than ponder the mysteries of traffic signals. But, of course, now I'm paranoid every time I'm at a red light. Thanks, Tommy, for making my commute an existential crisis.
0
0
You know, I recently hired this guy, Tommy, to fix my computer. He calls himself a tech guru. I'm thinking, "Great, finally, my computer will stop crashing every time I open more than three tabs of cat videos." So, Tommy shows up, looks at my computer for about five seconds, and goes, "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Brilliant, right? I'm like, "Tommy, I didn't hire you for a reboot; I could've asked my grandma for that advice!" I swear, next time I have a problem, I'm just gonna call my grandma. At least she bakes cookies while fixing things.
0
0
So, Tommy fancies himself a dating expert. He gave me some advice the other day. He said, "To impress a date, show them you're good with kids." I thought, "Sure, Tommy, I'll just borrow a neighbor's kid and parade them around like a prop on a first date. What could possibly go wrong?" Tommy, I appreciate the effort, but I'm not trying to audition for a sitcom. Besides, if my date can't appreciate my charm without a child sidekick, I think we've got bigger problems than my dating strategy.
Post a Comment