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Joke Types
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Why did the hospital bed break up with the chair? It needed more support in the relationship!
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Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood!
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Why did the MRI bring a backpack? It wanted to take some scans on the go!
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Why did the patient bring a ladder to the hospital? He wanted to go to the next level of care!
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Why did the hospital switch to a seafood diet? Because when you see food, you eat it!
Hospital Havoc
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You ever notice how hospitals are the only places where people compete for the worst bed? It's like a reverse beauty pageant. Oh, you got the one by the noisy ice machine? Well, I'm next to the guy who thinks he's a human trumpet at night!
Call Me Dr. Google
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I love how everyone suddenly becomes a medical expert when they're in the hospital. You hear people in the hallway discussing symptoms like they're sharing the latest gossip. Oh, you have a cough? I read on the internet that it could be a rare tropical disease. You might want to get that checked out!
Elevator Etiquette
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Why is it that people forget all elevator etiquette in hospitals? You're there trying to go up to your floor, and suddenly it's a game of human Tetris as people try to fit their entire extended family, a wheelchair, and a giant balloon bouquet into a tiny space. I didn't know I signed up for the circus.
Fashion Faux Pas
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You know you're in a hospital when the height of fashion is a gown that opens at the back. It's like they're saying, Congratulations, you're sick! Now, let's see how good you look with your bare butt exposed to the world.
TV Trauma
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Why is it that hospital TVs always have the worst channels? I was stuck watching a documentary on the history of lint for three days straight. I didn't know lint had such a riveting backstory. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Medical Menu
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Hospitals need to rethink their food options. I asked the nurse what's on the menu, and she handed me a pamphlet with pictures of mystery meat that looked like it came from an alien species. I didn't know whether to eat it or send it back to Area 51.
Waiting Room Woes
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The waiting room in a hospital is like a bizarre social experiment. You've got people pretending to read ancient magazines, others coughing like they're auditioning for a horror movie, and that one person who insists on playing their accordion to lift everyone's spirits. Spoiler: it doesn't.
The Disappearing Doctor
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Ever notice how doctors magically disappear when you need them the most? It's like they have a secret portal that transports them to the Bermuda Triangle whenever you hit the call button. Hello? Doctor? Did you get abducted by aliens again?
The Great Escape
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Leaving the hospital feels like breaking out of prison. You've survived the food, mastered the art of hospital small talk, and successfully navigated the obstacle course of medical equipment. Now you're free! Just don't forget to grab your souvenir gown on the way out—it's the latest fashion, you know.
Nap Time Olympics
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Hospitals are the only places where sleeping becomes an Olympic sport. You've got the guy in the corner snoring like a chainsaw, the lady with the beeping heart monitor providing the rhythm section, and the occasional intercom announcement that sounds like a wake-up call from the mothership.
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