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I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
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Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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They say 'think twice' for important decisions. Well, I've been standing in the frozen food aisle for 20 minutes, contemplating pizza or ice cream. Life-altering choices, you know?
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I tried thinking twice, but my brain is like a discount store – it only offers a 'Buy One, Get One Confused' deal.
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Thinking twice is like trying to install software updates – you know you should do it, but you just keep hitting 'Remind Me Later' until your life crashes.
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They say 'think twice' as if my brain has a rewind button. If it did, I'd probably just keep replaying embarrassing moments in HD.
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I'm trying to think twice, but my mind is stuck on a one-way street. U-turns? Those are for people who have their life together.
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I tried thinking twice, but my brain filed for overtime pay. Now it's on strike, demanding hazard pay for navigating the maze of my life choices.
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Thinking twice is my exercise routine. I lift weights of self-doubt and do mental gymnastics trying to decide if I left the stove on.
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Thinking twice is like ordering a complicated coffee – it sounds sophisticated, but in the end, I just end up with a grande-sized headache.
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I thought about thinking twice, but then I realized I can't even commit to a Netflix series. What chance does my decision-making have?
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