17 Jokes For The Ring

Puns

Updated on: Apr 06 2025

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I proposed to my girlfriend with a diamond made from compressed coffee. It was grounds for marriage!
What did the wedding ring say to the engagement ring? 'I've got this thing all wrapped up!
Why did the diamond go to school? It wanted to be brilliant!
Why did the diamond break up with the other gems? It found them all a bit too 'uncut' for its taste!
Why don't diamonds ever get mad? Because they always stay cool under pressure!
What's a diamond's favorite kind of game? Carats against humanity!
Why did the onion propose to the garlic? Because it couldn't resist the aroma of eternal love!

Saturn's Engagement Ring

Saturn's got this enormous ring around it, and here I am struggling to put a tiny engagement ring on my girlfriend's finger without her noticing. I think Saturn is just showing off, like, Look at me, I can wear my commitment issues for the whole universe to see!

The Ring Tone Deception

Why do we even bother setting a favorite ringtone? It's not like I can hear it anyway. It's always buried at the bottom of my bag, drowned out by the ambient noise of life. My phone could be playing the theme from Rocky, and I wouldn't notice until the final round.

The Sonic Ring Dilemma

You ever play Sonic the Hedgehog? He collects all these golden rings, and I can't even keep track of my car keys. I need a Sonic in my life to gather all my misplaced belongings. Maybe then I'll finally find where all my missing socks disappear to.

The Ring of Unanswered Calls

You ever notice how the moment you put on a ring, suddenly everyone's calling you? It's like I'm not married, I just have really chatty fingers. I call it the Ring of Unanswered Calls - not because I'm avoiding people, but because sometimes I just want some peace and quiet for my precious alone time.

Marriage vs. The Ring

So, I got married recently. My wife gave me this ring, and suddenly, I feel like Frodo on a quest to destroy the One Ring. Marriage is a lot like that journey to Mordor, full of adventures, unexpected twists, and a constant fear that someone's watching you.

The Wedding Ring Conspiracy

Why do we wear wedding rings on the fourth finger? Is it because it's the weakest finger, or is it a secret code for the amount of compromises you're about to make in a marriage? I feel like I'm part of a secret society where the initiation involves losing the ability to open jars.

The Fitness Ring

I bought one of those fitness rings to track my steps. Turns out, it thinks I'm running a marathon every time I binge-watch Netflix. Now, I'm torn between my desire for a healthy lifestyle and my love for a good TV show. It's the only ring that judges my commitment to both fitness and fictional drama.

The Lord of the Onion Rings

I ordered onion rings the other day, and they came stacked in a tower. I felt like Frodo again, facing the mighty Lord of the Onion Rings. One does not simply walk away from a tower of perfectly crispy, golden goodness without finishing the quest.

The Olympic Ring Challenge

I decided to propose to my girlfriend during the Olympics. You know, to give our relationship that extra competitive edge. I handed her the ring and said, Let's see if you can stick the landing! Turns out, she's not a gymnast, but she did give me a perfect 10 for creativity.

The Engagement Ring Diet

I heard people say diamonds are a girl's best friend. Well, my wallet disagrees. I call it the engagement ring diet – you lose a few pounds and gain a shiny rock. It's like a trade-off between financial stability and the ability to blind people with your left hand.

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