17 Jokes About The Coronavirus

Puns

Updated on: Apr 14 2025

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Why did the bicycle refuse to ride during the pandemic? It wanted to stay two-tired!
I told my plants about the coronavirus. Now they're practicing social photosynthesis!
Why did the coronavirus break up with its girlfriend? It needed space!
Why did the bread refuse to go near the coronavirus? It heard it was a real crumb-spreader!
Why did the virus apply for a job? It wanted to go viral!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing – and the coronavirus spike!
Why did the smartphone break up with the coronavirus? It couldn't handle the constant scrolling!

The Coronavirus Walks into a Bar

So, the coronavirus walks into a bar, and the bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve your kind here. And the coronavirus responds, Well, you wouldn't want a virus with a bad Yelp review, would you?

The Real Pandemic Panic

Forget the coronavirus; the real pandemic is people forgetting to mute themselves on Zoom calls. I've heard more family secrets and bathroom sounds than I ever wanted to.

Vaccine Victory Dance

I got the vaccine, and now I feel invincible. I'm ready to do all the things I've been avoiding—like paying my bills and going to family gatherings. Watch out, world, I'm a vaccinated rebel!

DIY Haircut Disasters

I tried giving myself a quarantine haircut. Let's just say I now understand why hairstylists go to school for years. My hair looks like it's been through a blender, and I was the chef.

Pandemic Pet Problems

I got a pet during quarantine for emotional support. Now, my emotional support animal is begging for its own emotional support. It's a tough world out here for a goldfish.

Zoom, the New Dating App

I joined a Zoom speed-dating event, and let me tell you, the only thing faster than the dates was my Wi-Fi dropping out. At this rate, my love life will be buffering forever.

Quarantine Cuisine

I've become a master chef during quarantine. I can turn any dish into a three-course meal: the time it takes to order, the time it takes to pick it up, and the time it takes to reheat it at home.

Mask Fashion Faux Pas

Wearing a mask makes me realize how ugly I am. I walked by a mirror, and even my reflection turned away like, Nope, not today, buddy.

Social Distancing Dilemmas

I tried social distancing, but now even my shadow unfollowed me on Instagram. I mean, I guess I should have expected it; my shadow always did prefer a little space.

Home Workout Horrors

I decided to try home workouts during lockdown, but it's not going well. I asked my couch for support, and it filed a restraining order.

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