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Joke Types
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Why did the bicycle refuse to ride during the pandemic? It wanted to stay two-tired!
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I told my plants about the coronavirus. Now they're practicing social photosynthesis!
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Why did the bread refuse to go near the coronavirus? It heard it was a real crumb-spreader!
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Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing – and the coronavirus spike!
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Why did the smartphone break up with the coronavirus? It couldn't handle the constant scrolling!
The Coronavirus Walks into a Bar
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So, the coronavirus walks into a bar, and the bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve your kind here. And the coronavirus responds, Well, you wouldn't want a virus with a bad Yelp review, would you?
The Real Pandemic Panic
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Forget the coronavirus; the real pandemic is people forgetting to mute themselves on Zoom calls. I've heard more family secrets and bathroom sounds than I ever wanted to.
Vaccine Victory Dance
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I got the vaccine, and now I feel invincible. I'm ready to do all the things I've been avoiding—like paying my bills and going to family gatherings. Watch out, world, I'm a vaccinated rebel!
DIY Haircut Disasters
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I tried giving myself a quarantine haircut. Let's just say I now understand why hairstylists go to school for years. My hair looks like it's been through a blender, and I was the chef.
Pandemic Pet Problems
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I got a pet during quarantine for emotional support. Now, my emotional support animal is begging for its own emotional support. It's a tough world out here for a goldfish.
Zoom, the New Dating App
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I joined a Zoom speed-dating event, and let me tell you, the only thing faster than the dates was my Wi-Fi dropping out. At this rate, my love life will be buffering forever.
Quarantine Cuisine
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I've become a master chef during quarantine. I can turn any dish into a three-course meal: the time it takes to order, the time it takes to pick it up, and the time it takes to reheat it at home.
Mask Fashion Faux Pas
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Wearing a mask makes me realize how ugly I am. I walked by a mirror, and even my reflection turned away like, Nope, not today, buddy.
Social Distancing Dilemmas
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I tried social distancing, but now even my shadow unfollowed me on Instagram. I mean, I guess I should have expected it; my shadow always did prefer a little space.
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