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You know, I was talking to some teenagers the other day, and let me tell you, communicating with them is like trying to crack a code. They've got their own language, and I'm not talking about emojis. No, it's a secret code called "D&E." I asked them, "What's D&E?" They looked at me like I was an alien. Apparently, it stands for "during and after." I felt like I needed a teenage dictionary just to understand their conversation. I mean, back in my day, we just had simple acronyms like "LOL" or "BRB." But these teens, they've taken it to a whole new level. It's like they're planning a covert mission every time they talk. "Hey, we're going to the mall, D&E, okay?" And I'm standing there thinking, "Are you going to the mall during and after something? Is this a secret rendezvous with the FBI?" I don't know, but I'm just trying to keep up with the D&E generation.
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So, I decided to embrace the D&E lifestyle and ask some teens for advice. You know, tap into the wisdom of the younger generation. I approached a group of them and said, "Hey, any tips for surviving in the D&E era?" One of them looked at me dead serious and said, "Just go with the flow, man." I thought, "Go with the flow? Is that the D&E mantra? Am I supposed to become a human river?" But you see, the challenge is that the flow is constantly changing. One moment it's all about TikTok dances, and the next, it's something called a "savage challenge." I don't even know what that means, but apparently, it's cool. So, here I am, trying to keep up with the ever-changing flow of teenage wisdom in the D&E era. It's like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.
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I decided to take on the ultimate challenge – speak like a teenager in the D&E language. So, I practiced in front of the mirror, "Yo, I'm vibing with the D&E, you feel me?" I thought I nailed it. But when I tried it on a group of teens, they looked at me like I just spoke an ancient alien language. Turns out, there's an unwritten rule – adults can't pull off the D&E talk. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I felt like a stand-up comedian doing a routine in a foreign language, and the audience is just staring blankly. So, I gave up the D&E challenge. I'll stick to my adult language, thank you very much. At least I can understand myself.
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Now, parents, let me tell you about the struggles of raising kids in the D&E universe. You think you're on the same page with your teenager, but little do you know, they're living in a parallel D&E dimension. I tried to have a serious conversation with my teenager about school, and they hit me with, "Mom, I can't talk right now. D&E, you know?" I'm standing there thinking, "What happened to just saying 'busy'?" And don't even get me started on trying to understand their schedules. It's like decoding the Enigma machine. "I'll be home at 5, D&E." Does that mean they'll be home during and after 5? Or is it some secret teen code for teleportation? Parenting in the D&E universe requires a PhD in teenage linguistics, and I'm over here with a basic dictionary.
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