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I tried using some teen slang the other day to connect with my nephew. I said, "That's lit, fam!" He just stared at me like I'd accidentally revealed the secret formula for time travel. Note to self: stick to words from the 20th century.
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Teens and their secret language – emojis. I mean, back in my day, we had to express our emotions with actual words. Now it's just a series of smiley faces, thumbs up, and the occasional eggplant. I miss the good old days when an eggplant was just a vegetable.
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Have you ever tried asking a teenager about their day? It's like pulling teeth, except the teeth are on Snapchat, and they disappear after 10 seconds. "How was school?" "Fine." "Anything interesting happen?" "Nope." It's a riveting conversation, really.
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Teens and their obsession with taking selfies – I've never seen someone contort their face in so many ways just to capture the perfect angle. When I was their age, the only selfie we had was the one you accidentally took while trying to find your phone in your pocket.
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I asked my teenage cousin to explain TikTok to me, and I swear it felt like I was attending a physics lecture. There are dances, challenges, and duets – it's like a virtual circus. I miss the simplicity of my youth when all we had to worry about was getting the high score on Snake on our Nokia phones.
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Teenagers and fashion trends – I can't keep up. The other day, I saw a kid wearing jeans with more holes than Swiss cheese. I thought they were part of a recycling initiative until I overheard him telling his friend how much he spent on them. I guess I missed the memo on paying a premium for pre-distressed denim.
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Teenagers and music – they think they've discovered the most groundbreaking artists. I tried recommending a classic rock song to my niece, and she looked at me like I'd handed her a cassette tape from an ancient civilization. "What's this? Did people really listen to this back in the day?" Yes, my dear, and we liked it!
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Teenagers and sleep – it's a love-hate relationship. They stay up all night watching TikToks or playing video games and then act like they've been personally victimized by the alarm clock in the morning. "Why does it have to be so early?" Well, maybe if you'd stop binge-watching cat videos at 3 am, you'd know.
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You ever notice how teenagers have this unique ability to communicate without actually saying anything? It's like they've mastered the art of telepathic eye rolls. "Oh, you want to go to the mall? Eye roll. You think your outfit is cool? Double eye roll. It's like Morse code, but with eye movements.
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Teens and technology, they're practically inseparable. I asked my niece if she could function without her phone for a day. She looked at me like I suggested she survive on a diet of kale and quinoa. I don't think she blinked for a minute, she was too busy texting someone about the absurdity of my proposal.
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