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Why did Sullivan bring a pencil to the party? In case he wanted to draw attention!
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Why did Sullivan take a nap on the calendar? Because he wanted to dream about the future!
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Why did Sullivan bring a map to the comedy club? In case he lost track of the punchlines!
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Why did Sullivan bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Sullivan bring a mirror to the interview? To reflect on his qualifications!
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Sullivan tried to become a chef, but his recipes were always half-baked. Now he's just a microwave expert.
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Why did Sullivan take a spoon to the park? For some serious stirring conversations!
Sullivan, the Office Prankster
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I suspect Sullivan has infiltrated my office. I opened my drawer, and instead of pens, I found a note saying, For a good time, call Sullivan. I think my office supplies are now part of Sullivan's elaborate plan for world domination through office pranks.
The Sullivan Diet
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I tried this new diet called the Sullivan Diet. It's simple—you just order a salad at a restaurant, and when it arrives, Sullivan magically appears and takes away half of it. It's the only diet where the weight loss plan is actually named after the guy who steals your lettuce.
Sullivan, My GPS Nemesis
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I swear, my GPS has a secret alliance with someone named Sullivan. Every time I follow its directions, I end up in the middle of nowhere, lost and confused. I bet Sullivan is sitting somewhere laughing, thinking, Gotcha again!
Sullivan's Lost & Found
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I visited the lost and found department recently, looking for my misplaced keys. The guy at the counter looked at me and said, Ah, you must be a victim of Sullivan too. I didn't realize Sullivan had his own section in the lost and found. It's like a tribute to his thieving legacy.
Sullivan's Support Group
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I joined a support group for people affected by Sullivan's antics. The first rule of the group is that you're not allowed to bring anything with you, because, you know, Sullivan might be watching. It's like Fight Club, but with fewer bruises and more missing items.
Sullivan's Weather Forecast
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I checked the weather forecast today, and it said there's a 50% chance of rain. I'm convinced the other 50% is just Sullivan with a water hose, waiting to catch you off guard. He's like the weatherman's mischievous sidekick.
Sullivan's Self-Help Book
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I picked up this self-help book the other day called Sullivan's Guide to Finding Inner Peace. The first chapter was just a blank page, and the author's note said, If you can find solace in nothing, you've mastered Sullivan's serenity.
Sullivan's Law
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You ever hear about Sullivan's Law? Yeah, apparently, it states that the probability of your missing sock reuniting with its partner in the laundry is directly proportional to how much you liked that sock. So, if you're left with one sock, Sullivan must've had a personal vendetta against your sock drawer.
Sullivan's Escape Room
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I tried an escape room last week, and guess who was the mastermind behind it? Sullivan! The final clue was just a note that said, To escape, find your car keys. I thought it was a game, but Sullivan turned it into a real-life treasure hunt.
Sullivan's Masterpiece
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I recently saw a painting titled Sullivan's Masterpiece at an art gallery. It was just a blank canvas. I asked the curator about it, and he said it represents the emptiness you feel when you can't find your TV remote. I thought, Wow, Sullivan is truly an artistic genius.
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