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My boss asked me to improve my attitude. So, I bought a new one and submitted the receipt!
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My boss said, 'I find your lack of faith disturbing.' I said, 'Well, I find your lack of a promotion disturbing!
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My boss said, 'This is the fifth time you've been late to work this week!' I smiled and said, 'It's good to be consistent!
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My boss told me, 'You're not paid to think.' I replied, 'I'm not paid enough to stop thinking either!
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My boss said, 'There's no 'I' in 'team'!' I said, 'Yeah, but there's a 'me' if you jumble it up a bit!
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My boss said, 'I'm not as dumb as you look.' I replied, 'Well, you couldn't be!
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I told my boss I needed a raise. He asked me, 'Why?' I said, 'Because I can't be expected to live on my current salary forever!
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My boss said I intimidate my coworkers. I told him I didn't know 'frighteningly efficient' was a problem!
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My boss asked me to prioritize my tasks. So, I told him my first priority was avoiding him.
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