bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
So, Stu decided to try his hand at online dating. Yeah, I know, Stu and dating – it's like watching a penguin try to fly. Anyway, Stu creates this online profile, and I take a look. His profile picture? A selfie with a fish. A fish! I guess he's going for the rugged outdoorsman look, but it's more like he's auditioning for a seafood commercial. And his bio – oh, it's a masterpiece. Stu describes himself as a "free spirit with a passion for spreadsheet formulas." Yeah, that's gonna attract a real wild crowd. Ladies, get ready for a night of thrilling Excel functions and fish tales.
I tried to give Stu some dating advice, told him to spice things up a bit. But, nope, Stu is committed to being the most interesting boring guy on the internet. Good luck, Stu. May the fish be ever in your favor.
0
0
You ever notice how going to the supermarket is like entering a war zone? I mean, I went to buy some milk, and I end up in a showdown with a guy we'll call Stu. Yeah, Stu. The guy who thinks the shopping cart is his personal chariot of chaos. I'm trying to peacefully navigate the aisles, and there's Stu, playing bumper cars with his cart. I felt like I was in a demolition derby, and Stu was the undisputed champion. I had to dodge left and right, strategizing my every move just to avoid a collision. Stu, on the other hand, had this determined look on his face like he was on a mission to turn the supermarket into a bumper cart arena.
And don't get me started on the checkout line. Stu decides to unload his entire cart onto the conveyor belt, including items he changed his mind about. There I am, stuck behind him, watching the cashier scan and bag items faster than an over-caffeinated squirrel. Meanwhile, Stu is engaged in a philosophical debate about the price of broccoli.
I swear, next time I see Stu at the supermarket, I'm bringing a helmet and some bumper stickers. It's gonna be a showdown!
0
0
Let me tell you about Stu at the gym. Now, most people go to the gym to break a sweat, maybe lift some weights, right? But not Stu. Stu treats the gym like it's his personal therapy session. I spotted him on the treadmill the other day, and instead of jogging, he's power-walking and having a heated argument with his imaginary friend. I swear, Stu was so into it; I thought he was negotiating world peace or something.
Then there's Stu's choice of workout attire – mismatched socks, shorts that haven't seen daylight since the '80s, and a T-shirt with a motivational quote he probably found on a cereal box. Dude, you're not working out; you're auditioning for a retro aerobics video.
But the best part is when Stu tries the weight machines. It's like watching a baby giraffe learn to walk. He's pushing and pulling, adjusting the settings like he's defusing a bomb. I'm just waiting for someone to hand him a participation trophy for his effort.
So, if you ever need a good laugh, just swing by the gym and look for Stu – the guy turning a workout into a sitcom.
0
0
We all have that one colleague, right? The office weirdo who insists on whispering every conversation. Well, in my office, that's Stu. Stu, the office whisperer. I don't know if Stu thinks he's James Bond on a top-secret mission or if he just wants to make everyone feel like they're in a spy thriller. But every time Stu speaks, it's like he's revealing classified information. You have to lean in, squint your eyes, and nod like you're part of some secret society.
The other day, Stu whispered to me about the office coffee machine like it was a matter of national security. "Hey, have you heard the rumor about the coffee beans? Shh, it's top secret." Dude, we're talking about coffee, not the launch codes.
I'm just waiting for the day when Stu gets caught up in some real office drama, and he's there whispering about the scandal like he's breaking the Watergate story. "Psst, did you hear Brenda took two extra pens from the supply closet? This is big, man, big!
Post a Comment