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Stu is the reason autocorrect gets a bad rap. You send a message like, "Let's meet at the café," and autocorrect transforms it into, "Let's meet at the stu." Suddenly, you're left wondering if there's a secret hipster spot called "The Stu.
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Stu is that person who says, "I'll be ready in five minutes," and you know you have time to binge-watch a season of your favorite show before they emerge from the mysterious time warp that is their getting-ready process.
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Ever notice how "stu" is the only word you can't really say with an accent? Try saying it in a British accent. Doesn't work, right? Stu stays staunchly neutral, defying all linguistic transformations.
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Stu is the only person who can turn a salad into a confusing experience. You sit there wondering, "Is this a Caesar salad or a garden salad with an identity crisis?" Stu, the salad mixologist.
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You ever notice that "stu" is the onomatopoeia for when you stub your toe? "Stu!" That's the sound of pain, regret, and maybe a touch of anger at that innocent piece of furniture that dared to invade your toe's personal space.
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Stu is the only one who can turn a simple decision into a philosophical debate. "Should we get pizza or burgers?" turns into a Socratic dialogue with Stu pondering the meaning of life and the existential crisis of toppings.
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Stu is the guy who insists on using a paper map instead of GPS. I mean, who needs turn-by-turn directions when you can unfold a massive piece of paper and play cartographer while driving? Stu, the human GPS.
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Stu is that friend who always has a slightly outdated phone. You know, the one who proudly says, "I'm retro," while you're secretly thinking, "Nah, man, you're just due for an upgrade. Stu, welcome to 2022.
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You ever notice how the word "stu" sounds like someone just couldn't finish saying "stupid"? It's like they were in the middle of an insult, got distracted, and went, "You're so stu—oh, look, a butterfly!
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