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Why did the stormtrooper buy an umbrella? Because he couldn't hit anything without it!
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What's a stormtrooper's favorite type of restaurant? Any place with a 'Missed Steak' on the menu!
Storm Trooper Dating Advice
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I asked a Storm Trooper for dating advice once. He said, Always aim for the heart. Well, no wonder he's single! I mean, that's romantic and all, but I'm pretty sure hitting the heart is not a great strategy for a first date. Maybe try aiming for the dinner bill, buddy!
Storm Trooper Spa Day
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You ever notice how Storm Troopers are always missing their shots? I mean, these guys couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if they were standing inside it. I figured out their secret - they've been attending a Storm Trooper spa day where the main activity is target practice. They're not bad shots; they're just relaxed marksmen!
Storm Trooper Career Day
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I heard Storm Troopers have a unique career day at their training camp. The counselor stands up and says, Alright, kids, who wants to be an intergalactic sharpshooter? And everyone raises their hand. Little did they know, the job description actually includes missing every shot and looking intimidating in white armor. It's the only profession where being a failure is the key to success.
Storm Trooper Party Planner
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Imagine a Storm Trooper planning a surprise party. He'd send out invitations saying, You're invited to a surprise! We can't guarantee you'll see it coming, but it'll be a blast. And then he'd probably miss the whole party himself. Guys, where is everyone? Oh, I was early again, wasn't I?
Storm Trooper GPS
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If Storm Troopers designed GPS systems, we'd all be lost in space. In 500 feet, turn left into the asteroid field. And good luck finding your destination because the map is just a bunch of question marks. You have reached your destination. Or maybe not. Who knows? It's like intergalactic geocaching with a 99% chance of missing the cache.
Storm Trooper Eyewear
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Have you ever seen a Storm Trooper's helmet? It's like they're trying to be futuristic, but it looks more like they're wearing a glorified salad bowl on their heads. I bet their eyewear prescription is so bad that they can't tell the difference between a Wookiee and a walking carpet. Maybe that's why they keep shooting at everything – they're just trying to get a closer look!
Storm Trooper Archery Class
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I heard they've started offering archery classes for Storm Troopers. Because, let's face it, if you can't hit anything with a blaster, maybe a bow and arrow will do the trick. I can already picture the instructor saying, Remember, the bullseye is the round thing with the target painted on it, not the innocent Ewok standing by the tree.
Storm Trooper Karaoke Night
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I heard Storm Troopers love karaoke night. They pick songs like I Will Survive or I Shot the Sheriff, and the audience is just waiting for them to hit a high note for once. Spoiler alert: it never happens. They leave the stage, and the only thing they've shot is their chances at a singing career.
Storm Trooper Shooting School
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I found out they actually have a shooting school for Storm Troopers. The first lesson is probably, Aim for the stars, because at least you'll hit something! It's the only place where you graduate with honors if you miss your final exam. I bet they have a motto like, Shoot for the moon, but don't be surprised if you hit the guy standing next to you.
Storm Trooper Paintball Team
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I bet Storm Troopers would dominate in a paintball game. They'd have the perfect strategy: miss every shot, confuse the enemy, and then sneak up on them when they're too busy laughing. It's the only sport where their lack of accuracy is an advantage. Oh, you got me in the chest! Actually, I was aiming for your left foot.
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