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The Thief's Confession
Justifying bike theft in a humorous way
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My friend asked me, "Why do you steal bikes?" I said, "Well, they say exercise is good for you, right? I'm just helping people get their daily cardio in chasing me down.
City Planner
Dealing with the challenge of preventing bike theft in the city
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We're considering GPS trackers on bikes now. It's like giving bikes their own version of "Find My iPhone." Imagine a thief's surprise when they steal a bike, and it starts giving them turn-by-turn directions to the nearest police station.
Bike Shop Owner
Dealing with customers who've had their bikes stolen
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My shop has become the confession booth for bike owners. A guy came in the other day, whispered, "I've lost my bike; it was my first love." I told him, "Well, consider this your bike's midlife crisis – it's probably off chasing younger cyclists.
Detective on Bike Theft Cases
Investigating stolen bike cases
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People ask me, "Why focus on bike thefts?" Well, it's simple – I like my cases how I like my coffee: dark and full of spokes.
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