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You know, I've got this friend, Stevie. Great guy, but he's got a GPS that's basically a backseat driver on steroids. You think your mother-in-law is bad? Try having Stevie's GPS in the car. Imitating Stevie's GPS
"Turn left in 500 feet... no, not that left, the other left! Recalculating... recalculating. In 1000 feet, turn right. Wait, did I say right? I meant left. Just kidding, recalculating again."
I swear, if Stevie's GPS had a personality, it would be the most indecisive person on the planet. I mean, it's like driving with a navigation system that's been hitting the bottle a bit too much. It's not drunk, it's just... creatively challenged.
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We all have that one friend with a unique fashion sense, right? Well, that's Stevie for you. He's the kind of guy who thinks socks with sandals are the height of fashion. I asked him, "Stevie, what are you wearing?" Imitating Stevie
"Oh, this? It's called 'casual chic.' Socks and sandals are making a comeback, mark my words."
Comeback? Stevie, the only thing making a comeback is my lunch every time I see you in that outfit. I mean, I love the guy, but sometimes I wonder if he gets dressed in the dark with a blindfold on.
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Let me tell you about Stevie's attempt at cooking. Now, Stevie is the kind of guy who thinks a microwave is an advanced cooking tool. So, one day he decides to make spaghetti. Simple, right? Wrong. Imitating Stevie
"So, the recipe said to add a pinch of salt. I figured, how much is a pinch? So, I just threw the whole salt shaker in there. Turns out, a pinch is not a measurement you take literally. Who knew?"
I swear, Stevie's spaghetti tasted like a salt mine explosion. It was so salty, even the ocean would say, "Dude, chill out." I told him next time he wants to cook, just order takeout. It's safer for everyone involved.
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Now, let's talk about Stevie's approach to fitness. The man is on a constant quest for the perfect workout routine. He tried everything from yoga to crossfit, but I think he's missing the point. Imitating Stevie
"Yeah, I'm into this new exercise trend. It's called 'watching TV while doing jumping jacks.' It's the perfect balance of cardio and entertainment."
Stevie, that's not a workout, that's a circus act. I suggested he join a gym, but he said, "Nah, too many people sweating. I prefer my workouts solo, with a bag of chips on the couch." I guess Stevie's definition of fitness is more of a mental exercise – trying to figure out how to avoid breaking a sweat at all costs.
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