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Why did the standardized test bring a GPS? It wanted to find the right answers!
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I accidentally brought a ruler to the standardized test. I guess I wanted to measure up to the competition!
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What did one standardized test say to the other? 'I've got my multiple-choice on you!
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What's a standardized test's favorite social media platform? Scan-tron Twitter!
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What's a standardized test's favorite dance? The multiple-choice shuffle!
The Struggles of Being Standardized
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You know, I recently found out that my life has been standardized. I mean, who knew? I always thought I was the deluxe, limited edition version, but nope, turns out I'm as standardized as a barcode. I can just imagine a factory somewhere with a quality control guy going, Eh, this one's a bit too quirky, let's tone down the uniqueness!
Standardized Dreams: Aisle 7
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You know you're living in a standardized world when even your dreams are on a designated shelf in the supermarket. I walked down aisle 7 the other day, and there it was - my dream, shrink-wrapped and ready for consumption. It even had a nutritional label: 100% fantasy, 0% reality. Well, that explains a lot.
The Standardized Job Interview
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Job interviews are basically a test to see how well you can fit into the standardized corporate mold. Tell us about your strengths. Translation: Can you conform to our checklist of desirable qualities? Where do you see yourself in five years? Translation: Do you plan on staying within our standardized expectations?
Standardized Technology: AKA Frustration in a Box
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Ever notice how every gadget comes with a standardized set of problems? It's like they include frustration as a feature. Oh, you wanted your phone to work seamlessly? Sorry, that's not in the standardized experience package. Please download our 'Patience' app while we update your expectations.
Standardized: Because Normal is Overrated
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So, apparently, being standardized is a thing. They say it's to make us all fit into this neat little box. I don't know about you, but I've always been more of a Let's break the box, see what happens kind of person. Who needs standards when you can have spectacularly strange?
Life: The Standard Edition
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I was looking at my life the other day, and I thought, Is this it? Is this the standardized edition of me? I mean, I was hoping for the director's cut, but it seems I'm stuck with the basic version. No bonus features, just me, doing the standard life activities: eating, sleeping, and contemplating whether I left the stove on.
Standardized Dating: Swipe Right for Mediocrity
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Dating nowadays feels like trying to find the perfect standardized product. Swipe right if you're into generic small talk and minimal emotional baggage. I miss the good old days when you didn't have to fit a certain mold to be someone's cup of tea. Now it's more like, Sorry, you're not in the standardized compatibility range.
Standardized Fashion: Because Originality is Overrated
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Fashion trends are like the standardized tests of the clothing world. One day it's skinny jeans, the next day it's bell bottoms. I'm just waiting for the day when the fashion police show up and say, I'm sorry, sir, but those socks don't comply with the standardized sock length regulation. You're coming with us.
Standardized Parenting: The Manual That Doesn't Exist
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They say parenting comes with no manual, but I'm starting to think there is one, and it's just incredibly standardized. Step 1: Sleepless nights. Step 2: Diapers. Step 3: Repeat. It's like they handed us a script and said, Stick to the plot, and don't improvise too much.
The Standardized Selfie
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Taking a selfie has become a standardized ritual. I mean, there's an unwritten rule that every selfie must include a duck face or the classic peace sign. It's like, Smile, standardize your facial expression, and if all else fails, just throw up a peace sign and hope for the best. #BasicHuman.
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