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You know you've been in the education system too long when you start having dreams about bubble sheets haunting you. "I had a nightmare that my entire life was a scantron, and I accidentally filled in 'C' for my career choice.
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Standardized tests are like a rite of passage. You go in as a student and come out as a survivor. It's like, "Congratulations, you've successfully navigated through the multiple-choice minefield. Now, go forth and conquer the world... or at least the next exam.
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You ever notice how standardized tests are like the Olympics for anxiety? I mean, who needs a marathon when you can have a three-hour session of bubbling in multiple-choice answers and questioning your life choices?
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Standardized tests are the only place where you can feel the collective stress of a thousand students hanging in the air. It's so thick; you could cut it with the anxiety-ridden glares exchanged between test-takers.
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Standardized testing is the only time where you question the laws of physics. How is it that time can simultaneously move so slow and so fast? It's like a cosmic joke played by the universe, and we're all just trying not to be the punchline.
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Ever notice how standardized tests have this eerie silence, broken only by the occasional squeak of a chair or the distant sound of someone crying softly? It's like a horror movie, but instead of monsters, it's just the fear of forgetting your calculator.
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Standardized tests make you question your intelligence. I mean, who needs self-esteem when you can have a number that defines your worth? "Oh, you got a 98? Looks like you're 2% away from being a genius. Better luck next time, Einstein.
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Why do they call it standardized testing anyway? I mean, the only thing that's standard is the number of students hyperventilating in the room. It's like a stress convention, and the only prize is a scantron sheet.
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You know you're in trouble during a standardized test when you start treating every pencil as if it's the Excalibur of knowledge. "This, my friends, is the mighty No. 2 pencil. With great power comes great responsibility... and the eraser for all my mistakes.
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